Category: Non-Sense


“Love is an ugly, terrible business practiced by fools. It’ll trample your heart and leave you bleeding on the floor. And what does it really get you in the end? Nothing but a few incredible memories that you can’t ever shake. The truth is, there’s gonna be other girls out there. I mean, I hope. But I’m never gonna get another first love. That one is always gonna be her.” (Little Manhattan)

I used not to feel that much for the quote above, because I used to be a hopelessly romantic cheeseball, who would think everything is possible with enough love. Is love about going extra miles even if it hurts? Maybe it is. But is it worth it? I don’t know. Something happened lately, and it made me think again, about many things. Reality checks in, because we are all travelling through time together, in the real world. Is love about finding the courage you didn’t know it was there? Yes I guess, but well, kinda pointless at the same time, no? Well, somewhere a million miles away, a girl I like is going down her road, and I am stuck on mine. We are on different roads, she and me, two ships that passed the Sheep Meadow. Well, it’s a pain with no name.

Anyway, it’s new year, happy new year to everyone, and I don’t mean to spread the negativity. But yea, it’s a new year, new me! Positive atmosphere is needed! As I mentioned before, all of us are travelling through time together, all we can do is to do our best to relish, this remarkable ride (About Time). We need to make everyday count, and we just have to try to live everyday as if we’ve deliberately come back to this one day to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of our extraordinary, ordinary life.

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10 Downing Street in Hayesland

‘Alcohol makes me sober,
for it makes me super-super!’
says King Hayes with his Budweiser treat,
at the biggest pub of Hayesland, 10 Downing Street.

‘Down it! Down it! Down it!’
says the drunk who never quits.
He thus named the pub, with the liquor wheat,
Down it, Down it, 10 Downing Street!

’24 hours in a day,
24 beers in a case’
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Keep me well-fed, stock up the brew!

Hayesland is the ‘La La Land’,
with the most premier liquor in hand.
A glass of nice wine a day,
Keeps your discomfort away!

So today I’d share my piano cover of the song ‘Through the Years and Far Away’, it is from the short film called ‘Voices of a Distant Star’. Hope you guys would enjoy it

Lyrics:

Hello, little star
Are you doing fine?
I’m lonely as everything in birth

Sometimes in the dark
When I close my eyes
I dream of you, the planet earth

If I could fly across this night
Faster than the speed of light
I would spread these wings of mine

Through the years and far away
Far beyond the milky way
See the shine that never blinks
The shine that never fades

Thousand years and far away
Far beyond the silky way
You’re the shine that never blinks
The shine that never dies

Hello, tiny star
Can you hear me call?
I’m so blind as everything at birth

If I could flow against these nights
Straiter than the string of light
I would lay these hands on time

Through the years and far away
Far beyond the milky way
See the shine that never blinks
The shine that never fades

Thousand years and far away
Far beyond the silky way
You’re the shine that never blinks
The shine that never dies

Through the years and far away
Far beyond the milky way
You’re the shine that never blinks
The shine that never dies

There are not many woman who could make Hermione (from Harry Potter) looks average, or make Daenerys (from Game of Thrones) looks like a potato. But Kate Beckinsale is one. Her classy movements, perfect English accent, warm smiles, fun personality, everything, can just make everyone lost just by talking to her: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2avOxIQr-vc

Is it just me, or Kate Beckinsale is just one of the most flawless human on Earth? I used not to believe in Vampires, but Kate is 43 and she is looking like 25. With some naughty pranksters from time to time, she is definitely the dream of human race. It not really only about the way she looks, but the way she talks. She can definitely finish one off just by talking. Her eloquence just makes her like a queen or an angel! Her speeches are just super eloquent that she must have come to the wrong century!

If I ever own a bakery, I’ll name it Kate Bake & Sale!

The Fable of Hayesland (1)

 Hayesland, the most pleasant nation on the orb,
where quality of life is top.
It is a place where ideals are achieved,
a place with anything but grief.

Life in Hayesland is the most delightful,
every citizen is treated as part of the royal.
It all thanks to the government formed by Hayes,
who are well-known as the ‘Fifty Shades of Hayes’.

Citizens in Hayesland are joyous,
they always say ‘Thanks for delivering a good life to us.’
They need no worried mind,
Their contentment is an eternal sunshine.

Peace in country comes from comprehensive welfare,
Which is what the monarch mostly care.
Everyone is guaranteed with basic needs,
Only luxury is on the business deed.

In such a decent society, they do regulate
the people who want to come and stay.
To assure the quality of life within,
they set immigration rules to keep the citizen’s grin.

To move to Hayesland you have four ways,
If you succeed your fame and glory raise.
They are nothing easy but if you are on board,
You will receive your papers as the ultimate reward.

If you somehow get on to wedding carriage,
With a Hayesland citizen in a marriage,
You have the right to claim a passport,
Since Hayes, for the sake of a family, shalt not deport.

 If you can kick the ball with your feet,
You are welcome to join Hayesland’ sports elites,
To compete on behalf of Hayesland for glory,
To make the most of your life story!

 A beautiful mind thou hath got,
Easy can you obtain a passport,
For we Hayesland value thoughtful thoughts,
Thou canst help us build our Camelot!

 Final way of immigration is through investments,
This, however, gives you a limited time in heaven,
Since wealthy bastards shalt not be tolerated,
As they will eventually be badly hated.

Random poetry

She, is a funny little dime.
To fall for her, is just a matter of time.
Alcohol makes me sober with feeling,
And today it creates a sense of seeing.

Thou saw me needing you,
Who shalt I turn to?
The thing you mentioned that night,
It’s harsh, right?

Dreams are my reality,
I’d like to dream of you close to me.
Lol I just prove my self superior and mighty,
And move away from any wearies!

On Earth, there is no one better than Emam Watson.

In terms of acting, she is undoubtedly the best actress in the world, with her sweet smiles, cute voice, awesomely posh accent….With Emma Watson, there is no point for the same film having another actors/ actresses, because she can make the film good without any help.

Apart from her career, she is still a decent woman, always smiling to everyone, doing good deeds, helping to make the world a fairer place for everyone…. She is definitely a heroine, an angel, the saver of the world.

Everything she says is the words of wisdom; her good deeds are enough to make herself a goddess; she is just a legend!

Food and Girls

I am quite a good chef, and everytime I cook I try to think about how to improve my dish next time. And now I discover the connection between food an girls.

A good dish often looks good, smells good, and tastes good. It is the kind of food that you would like to keep in your mouth for as long as possible because once it went down to your digestive system, it is gone. This kind of food, is just like the beauty and cuteness of Emma Watson, and Kate Beckinsale.

There are many ways to cook: bake, fry, steam, boil….. Among those, deep-frying is the most special one, as it completely changes how the ingredients taste. The first few bites of a deep-fried product are probably quite enjoyable, as it has a crispy crust surrounding the hot stuff inside. However, it wouldn’t take long until you get sick of it because of the oil. Deep-frying, is basically just giving a crust to cover the food, just like the girls having enormous amount of make-up, or plastic surgeries, just to make themselves like the ‘deep-fried’ food. With everyone covering themselves with the ‘deep-fried’ crust, it is hard to spot the difference between Emma Watson and the others, until they uncover themselves. But what’s the point of it then? Everyone is just a clone?

Well, sometimes, all you need is just a normal bowl of rice. It does not have the beauty of Kate Beckinsale or the cuteness of Emma Watson, but at least, it is real.

‘After setting up the Guinness Record of beer tasting

I departed to Kronenbourg for a trip’

                                                                                                                           1664

The trip to Kronenbourg in France was completely random. Having no companion travelling with me, I decided to visit this little town in France for its fame on the best beer in the world, Kronenbourg Blanc. The journey from Aberdeen to Kronenbourg took a good couple days and cost a giant budget, and therefore I chose to stay in a cheap motel for the trip, and the motel itself, is called Hoegaarden.

I arrived in Kronenbourg on the 11th of July, 1664. The first thing I did, was to check-in for my stay in Hoegarrden. My first impression of the motel was that, it was pretty bright, but it did not look fancy at all. My thought of Coors Light came to mind: Cheap beer isn’t good for tasting, just like this cheap motel isn’t good for staying. But well, I might as well stay here to save some money.

I went to the reception and pressed the bell to be served. A lady, with an edelweiss headband, came with a smiley greeting. ‘Oh Edelweiss, Edelweiss, you look happy to greet me.’ I thought.

‘Good morning, sir. How can I help you today?’ She said with a friendly smile, with a French-ish accent. ‘I would like to check in please, a stay of… about two weeks? I am not exactly sure when I would go home but, Edelweiss shall bless my homeland forever so I am not too fussed about going back.’ I replied. ‘No problem, lately there are not many Tennent’s staying here so you are welcome to extend your booking anytime.’ She said in a happy tone. ‘Yep, thanks. We don’t really say ‘Tennent’s’ or tenants in this context but we call them residents I think. Thank you very much indeed. I am John Smith, and you are….’ I said with the greatest politeness. ‘My name is Stella, Stella Artois. Nice to meet you. You can teach me some English during your stay, and I can take you around the town of Kronenbourg, if you do not have much to do? There is nothing much in the motel that I do so…. Deal?’ She said with a giggle. ‘Yep sure indeed, it would be my pleasure and it sounds brilliant indeed!’ I replied. ‘Oui, since you are the first tennent, oh, no, resident in a month, here is a blue ribbon for you as a souvenir. And now I will show you your room.’ She then took me to show me my room.

It was pretty much a mini motel, and it didn’t even have a garden. I really wondered why it would be named Hoegaarden. But well, at least my room was tidy, with a bed, a writing table, and a little bathroom. Good! As she was going to leave, she asked me if I was free the next morning and she could show me the little park in the town as she would take her dog for a walk. Oh well, Edelweiss would really greet me in the morning!

Next morning at around eight o’clock, I was in the middle between dreaming and waking up, and I heard someone knocking the door. ‘Hey, good morning, Sir. This is Stella, you ready to go?’

‘Oh, Stella is so eager to show me around the town! Oh well, I am charming and suave, that is why!’ I thought with my ultimate confidence.

I went and opened the door, and saw Stella, still with an Edelweiss headband, holding her little dog, which looked like a Yorkshire Terrier to my knowledge.

‘Good morning Stella! How are you? Is this your dog?’ I asked ‘Oui, this is my dog, and his name is Brewdog because he brews a lot every day!’ She replied, with an interesting answer. ‘Oh Brewdog? Do you mean he pees a lot every day?’ I asked. ‘Ehm, yes I think I kind of mean that haha, are you ready for a walkie?’ She asked, with a gently smile. ‘Yes, I am ready whenever you are!’ I answered happily.

 

It was a nice, sunny day in the town of Kronenbourg. We walked a long a long, straight path for around an hour and a half, and finally we arrived at a park. During the walk, I got to know more about her background: So the motel was a family business of hers. Her parents passed away from an accident when she was twelve. She was then looked after by her uncle, Jack Daniel, who looked after the motel business until she went back and took care of the motel again when she turned twenty.

Back to the park where we went to with the little Brewdog. It was filled with greenery and there was a little lake in the middle.

‘Such a nice park, on a nice day, merci beaucoup my tour guide!’ I exclaimed. ‘You are welcome, sir! This park is called ‘Kingfisher Park’!’ She said. ‘Oh, that is a special name. Let me guess, there must be a very famous fisherman here?’ I asked. ‘You are right, sir. It was a bit of a legend, and I am not sure if it is entirely a true story. But around a century ago, there was a fisherman called Johnny Walker coming to this lake to fish. Since this is a small lake and no one has seen any fish in it, everyone thought it was a joke that he could fish anything. However, he somehow managed to fish a big salmon from it. And so, he was then crowned the Kingfisher, which gave the name of this park.’ She explained.

If listening to stories is all about focus, my focus was all over her angelic face, her melodic speech, and vivid gestures.

Well, it was a walkie for Brewdog, and we did need to keep him entertained. Stella picked a tree stick from the floor, and threw it.

Heineken!’ She shouted as she threw the stick away. ‘Heineken?’ I asked, with a question mark in my head. ‘Yes, Heineken indeed. This is like a little slogan. I used to say ‘High, lick it!’ as I threw the stick and Brewdog would run as fast as possible and get the stick. And sometimes I spoke it fast, it sounded like Heineken, and now I just say it.’ She answered.

This is the strangest, yet the most interesting girl I have seen.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. A few hours flew away quickly. Brewdog, after a few hours of chasing and playing with the stick, was tired. It was time to get home, walking along the long path again.

‘So you like the park, and obviously flowers?’ I asked, as we were walking. ‘Yes, no doubt. As you can see my Edelweiss headband.’ She replied. ‘That is nice, why Edelweiss though? Does it have any special meaning to you?’ I asked again. ‘Ehm, yes. Every time I see Edelweiss, I seem to hear the sound of music from the nature. For the Edelweiss I had on my head, I grew them since they were buds. They were even more beautiful when they were buds, and I called them Budweiser.’ She said, with a lovely smile, just like a blooming Edelweiss.

‘Arrrggghhh!’ Stella screamed suddenly, as we were walking, and pointed her finger forward.

There was a Cobra in the middle of the path, a big one indeed. I was scared. Never had I so keenly aware of the ability of my palm to manufacture sweat. But… with a terrified girl next to me, there was nothing I couldn’t do, because I was a knight, a chivalric one!

With the eye of Tiger, I held Stella’s hand, and lifted Brewdog with my other hand, and quickly ran to the Cobra, as if I was the Guinness record holder of the fastest sprinter in the world. The Cobra was flicking its tongue as I approached it.

‘Do not attempt to lick us, you cannot do Heineken, you are nae Brewdog!’ I shouted, as I kicked the Cobra when I approached it. I knocked the Cobra out!

‘Thank you very much, Sir! You are so brave!’ She exclaimed. ‘Well, you know, I am nae afraid of anything, and it was just easy peasy.’ I said. ‘Yep, you are such a Carling man!’ She said, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. ‘Ehm… You meant caring, don’t you? But thanks!’ I said, and my heart was pumping fast.

Never had I felt so alive! Who cares if she meant Carling or caring? Are there any more beautiful words than Carling or caring? Well, my palm was still sweating, but, she didn’t let go of my hand. So I was determined to hold that girl’s hand for every single second until we were back to Hoegaarden.

So we were back at Hoegaarden, and it was already afternoon. I was tired, but it had been a really nice day.

‘Thank you for keeping me company for the day, and saving me from the Cobra.’ She said to me. ‘You are welcome, and you are such a good tour guide, explaining the history and things in the park today.’ I said. ‘It is no problem at all! Ehm… Are you free tomorrow evening?’ She popped a question, unexpectedly. ‘Ehm… Ye… Yes, I am fr…ee tomorrow evening.’ I answered, oh, my heart started pumping fast again. ‘Would you like to have dinner with me? I know there is a good Chinese restaurant nearby, it is called Tsingdao. I only go there once in a Blue Moon, but it is really nice. I will meet you tomorrow at six in the evening then!’ She explained, she seemed so keen. ‘Yes, that would be… so… so nice! Good, see you tomorrow then!’ I said happily. She then waved me goodbye, as I went back to my room, and wrote, as I had the mood to do so.

‘Okay, what was going on here? What is the feeling at the pit of my stomach? Who is this gorgeous Edelweiss lady in this motel? I have never been nervous speaking to girls, never feeling tongue-tied. I am… confused.’ I thought. ‘What time is it now? Only five? Still more than 24 hours to go until the dinner date?’ Time really couldn’t go faster!

The next day, I could not be bothered doing anything because I was so excited and nervous about the dinner date. Is there anything worse than sitting there waiting for your first date with your heart pumping super-fast? I would rather have my nails peeled off one by one with pliers than sitting in my room, sweating and being nervous.

At exactly six o’clock, she finally knocked my door. It was the most harmonic knocking sound I have ever heard.

‘Are you ready to go?’ She asked, as I opened the door for her. ‘Oui, let’s go!’ I said, with my heart being like a hammer, rattling within my ribcage. Then, we were on our way to Tsingdao.

I did not know where the restaurant was, but she said it was in a place called ‘Coors Light district’, which was not too far away from Hoegaarden. We walked there, and along the way, we talked about what we did during the day time. So her day was much more productive than mine. She took Brewdog to a farm for a walk, and then came back to Hoegaarden to work. Well, I could not really tell her I had been waiting for the dinner the whole day, could I? I simply told her that I took a rest today, and quickly changed the topic to the restaurant we were going to.

Not long after, we arrived at the restaurant. We were both hungry, and I looked at the menu outside, it wrote ‘Famous Grouse buy one get one free’. I was unsure about this dish, but it sounded appealing.

‘Have you had the Famous Grouse here?’ I asked. ‘Yes, it is basically a roasted grouse. We can have it, it is quite a good deal!’ She answered. Yep, it sounded like a fair deal, and so we ordered two Famous Grouse.

It was the first time I went to a Chinese restaurant. It was quite busy, but the atmosphere was quite warm. We were at the seats next to the window. As it was dinner time, there was a lighted candle in the middle of the table. How romantic was that?!

After we sat down, she started speaking about her life in the town. I was trying to concentrate on what she was saying, but I couldn’t. My focus was all on how beauteous she was. Her beautiful blue eyes shone like diamonds, or the blue in the summer skies.

When she caught my gaze, I felt lost in the magic maze.

It was not until the food arrived, that I regained my attention that I was actually in a restaurant. The food was delicious, but it had nothing to compare to my adore for her Edelweiss headband, blond ponytail, cherry sweet lips, the way she smacked her lips before she talked, the way she laughed……

I wanted to freeze time; I wanted to savour every moment during the dinner. The more I looked at her, the more I understood Keats’ words saying ‘A thing of beauty is a joy forever’. Her face became the eternal sunshine of my spotless mind.

Time went past, and we finished our meal, and of course, I paid for the meal, just trying to be a gentleman.

‘It is gin o’clock! Do you want to go back to Hoegaarden for a drink? She asked, as we left the restaurant. ‘Yes sure, that would sound good. What do you want to drink?’ I asked. ‘I said it is gin o’clock. My uncle Gordon sells gin to make a living, and he gave me a bottle of his gin last Christmas. I have not opened it yet, but I think it would be a good drink for tonight.’ She answered. ‘Yes, that sounds good as well, let’s have gin!’ I said, feeling quite excited as she seemed to enjoy the dinner date.

We went back to Hoegaarden. The familiar place being so unfamiliar, since the original place for holiday became the venue of a date, and it felt a bit like a place for me to be interviewed. We went to the reception, and Stella asked me to go behind the till with her. ‘What is she doing?’ I thought.

Behind the till, there was a trap door.

She opened the trap door, and then asked me to follow her to get down.

She climbed down first, then I followed her. It was like the fifth step, that we saw some light. I looked down, and there was actually a hidden compartment , and it felt like another world.

We reached the lower-ground floor, it was like another lounge, but this one it was like a greenhouse, with a field of flowers, and a table with chairs at the corner. I was shocked, how can there be a hidden compartment in the motel? It was such a beautiful place too, with the flowers blooming. ‘I see trees of green, red roses too, I see them bloom, for me and you.’ The lyrics ran through my head.

‘You did not expect this place, did you?’ She asked, with a giggle. ‘Oh yes, never expect there would be such a beautiful, hidden compartment here, with flowers too!’ I exclaimed. ‘Yes, the architect of this complex building is an enthusiast of nature, which is why he had to have a hidden compartment of flowers here. The idea is that people who work in this motel can enjoy the nature here when they are taking breaks. This is where I grew my Edelweiss too!’ She said, happily. ‘So this is the most important bit of Hoegaarden? Because this carries the architect’s mind?’ I asked. ‘Yes, the whole garden, is Hoegaarden. When we got the hotel, the designer told us that the part where normal people see without getting down the trap door is just the tip of iceberg. The architect is called Carl, and so we call the upper bit Carlsberg; while this bit is the centre of Hoegaarden.’ She said.

We then went to the table there, and she took out the bottle of gin from her uncle Gordon, which reads Gordon’s Gin. We started drinking. I was, ehmm, as nervous as a mouse in a cat house, because I felt like I had to make good impressions so that she would maybe like me.

‘How do you like Kronenbourg?’ She asked. ‘I em…. Think it is quite nice here, loving this place! This motel is good too!’ I answered, being a bit tongue-tied. ‘Yes, this is not a big city, but this is what I like, being quiet, and just … nice, a comfortable place to live in.’ She replied to me. ‘Same here, I prefer a place where I feel comfortable to live in, rather than a place where people are too materialistic. Sometimes, it is good to pause for a moment. Beauty is wrapped and hidden between every second of life, and if you don’t stop for a moment, you may miss it. This is why I like it here.’ I could not believe I came up with this suggestive answer. I was looking at her beautiful eyes when constructing my utterance, and the words just came naturally.

She seemed to have noticed the fact that I was staring at her as I was saying. Her pale face was slightly changing to pink, like rose. She looked like she was going to say something, but she did not say a word eventually. There was an awkward silence.

I was thinking about what to say. It was a moment where I needed to say something. I made such an entrance with my utterance and I had to back it up with something. Well, no, I was…I had to go back to Aberdeen to work anyway, maybe I should not tell her anything and start a joke? No! This is just an excuse for a coward not to admit the fact that he likes a woman. Love is about grand gestures; love is about going extra miles even if it may hurt; love is about discovering the courage inside you that you did not even know that existed!

With this mindset in my head, I finally asked ‘Can I extend my stay here?’, having the courage to catch her gaze when speaking. ‘Yes, the Carling man. Till when?’ She said, with a cheeky smile, as if she knew the idea behind my question. ‘That is caring, the Edelweiss lady. And the answer would be till…. whenever.’

 

P.S. Sequel coming up if there is traffic.