Tag Archive: beauty


Consistent Relationship

Relationship builds on trust. Without trust, a relationship can probably never grow well. It’s like growing a plant, you have to sometimes water it and take care of it, but sometimes you should leave some space for it to grow.

Relationship is an interesting, yet a wee little bit tricky when it comes to how you handle it. Couples in love of course want to see each other as many as possible (theoretically), despite the fact that individually, they still need their own space. However, seeing each other too much is probably also a risk. How? It MIGHT increase the chance of couples getting tired of each other before anything better can happen. So, what’s right to do? I guess, just set a time or two every week for meeting, just the couples themselves, to maintain the consistency of the relationship. The other time depends on context, depends on what the other one wants to do. It’s unfair to take up people’s time which is supposed to be spent as their own wish.

So, couples not spending every second together makes perfect sense honestly. This is where the tricky part is, TRUST. Andreas Capellanus (12th Century) wrote that ‘the lover is always fear that his love may not gain its desire. He fears anything that might harm it anyway.’ You have to trust that she is not doing anything to harm the relationship  that would completely ruin your mind if it happens. She’s not a property, but a partner rather. So it is the most terrible act if you control her everyday life. Imagine if you are treated that way, you wouldn’t be happy. This is how a relationship can be fun, with TRUST playing a part in it. It would be a great pleasure if you know you are trusting what is worth trusting.

Well, maybe enough for now. Why haven’t I updated for a while? I don’t know 😀 All I’m gonna say is, building a relationship is like building a bridge between two islands. Now the project begins, and you have to communicate with each other, to make the project works, to connect you two, just like the title of the song ‘vi to er smeltet sammen’ (Okay, maybe a bit cheesy but it means ‘the two of us melt into one’) Ahhh talking about this, the film ‘500 Days of Summer’ comes to mind. Good luck to all of us!

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Being taken over by The Fear

Lily Allen’s The Fear can probably be crowned The National Anthem of the 21st Century.

‘I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them’

These opening lines cannot be more real. People nowadays don’t give a crap about anything other than money. It’s easy to say we shouldn’t be too materialistic, but it’s hard to put this principle into life. At the end of the day, money means power, and it gives you a very comfortable life. It’s difficult, if not impossible, not to be engulfed by the greed inside us. Again, at the end of the day, ‘I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner’.

‘And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous.’

This is exactly the view of the majority people I believe. We don’t seem to care how we get money, we don’t care about whether it’s ethic to do something in exchange of fame, glory, and eventually money. Is it the correct mindset? I don’t know. Living in a corrupted world, I don’t know what is real, and what I meant to feel anymore.

And here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QrnxD-NB4 you get to hear the great national anthem of the 21 century.


I do admire Lily Allen’s ability to write lyrics in a very very poetic form (at least to me it is so poetic). But the most important thing, is I think she does write people’s heart. I personally think, she did write a lot that reflects my life. The Fear is one of them, The Littlest Things… ehm… I may probably have encountered something similar.

Well, listening to Lily Allen’s at least gives me some comfort, so I know there are people outside who could still see the truth.

‘Sometimes I find myself sittin’ back and reminiscing,
especially when I have to watch other people kissin
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end’

I rarely watched old films since I came to university. A few days ago, I heard the song ‘Up Where We Belong’ on Youtube as it came up as a recommended video. Then, I decided to watch ‘An Officer and A Gentleman’ as it was recommended by my mum for ages. Indeed, I think it’s a very good film.

First, in terms of actor/ actress, it was already amazing. Richard Gere, is like George Clooney, as he is what many guys would want to be when they get older. Although his acting is not that great (I would describe his acting as a piece of wood0, he looks great enough for the film. Debra Winger, as the main actress, is what I would describe as proper fit (Of course back at that time). She looked pretty and sweet. She definitely attracted me to the film even more!

Soundtrack-wise, ‘Up where we belong’ (or ‘Love Lifts us Up Where We Belong’) fits  into the theme of the film so well. Why? Because it’s about how the love relation of Richard Gere and Debre Winger kept Richard going with the U.S. Navy training camp. Well, sometimes when you do things for someone rather than yourself, you might do it better as you don’t wanna disappoint the other party.

I kinda like this film. I found it both realistic, and idealistic. It tells the truth that, some women at that time only wanted to marry navy pilot for the sake of the title. They would even set a trap (get themselves pregnant with the pilot) so the pilot have to marry them. It might happen in this modern world somehow, as in women seducing rich people for the sake of the wealth. They might set the same ‘trap’ too. Why is it idealistic? Debra Winger in the film is the idealistic character. From the first half of the film, we can see she loves Richard Gere so much, that it is nothing much related whether he is a navy pilot. She supports him through the tough time, and finally till Richard succeeds. Is this unrealistic? I don’t know, finding a girl who would support you through the tough time like she did, seems to be difficult in nowadays world, as there are too many choices for them that they don’t really have to stick to you. Well, this film got me, made me wanna go back and live in an earlier time. Well, if I were born earlier, it would mean, easier immigration, more romantic, and probably better, and simpler life, where freedom and warmth are everywhere.

‘Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong’, yea, that’s how people get good.

‘The Littlest Things’

Probably Spring is the season of many friendzones happening, as I saw from the examples from my friends. Lily Allen’s ‘The Littlest Things’ popped up to my mind after being involved in the SAD STORIES. Yea, this is a break-up song, but can also be seen as a friendzone song.

‘The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
The things are reminding me of you’

The Littlest things? Aye, they could be little, but somehow powerful, that can drive you crazy, and it is unfair, that those memories remind me of the special ‘you’.

‘Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?’

This is a very realistic bit, as you can call it the END, when you think ‘Oh I wish we could just pretend’, because you know it will never ever happen.

This is a song, that reminds us to be realists. There are two types of people in the world, romantic cheeseballs, and realists. Well, it is so idealistic to think that a relationship will last forever. It is not the case: this song reminds us that, no matter how close you can be with your one, there is still a chance for one person to change her (or his) mind, and dump you into the sea. No matter how flirtatious she was, no matter what she says, most ‘promises’ are never kept. Even if a couple really stays till they are so old, there must be one that ‘goes’ first, and the other will can only be ‘sitting back and reminiscing’. How dreadful is that? We come to the world alone, and probably leave it the same way. Keep this idea in mind, and in this way, you’ll feel less pain, when you get noticed that ‘your one’ (as you call) finds her one (who is not you) and keeps mentioning about ‘her one’ in front of you with the most cheerful face.

LOL NEVER MENTION ABOUT YOUR DATE IN FRONT OF THE PEOPLE WHO YOU THINK MAY LIKE YOU, AS THEY WILL FEEL THE INSANITY OF SADNESS!

Poetry: Friendzone

Well haven’t written a poem for a while. Wrote it after seeing a film quite related to friendzone, hope you all like it.

Friendzone, a doomed Bell Jar

Bittersweet memories,
I always offered, when you needed me.
Yes, you trusted me, you needed me, just not in that way.
As I am stuck in the ultimate friendzone, where you can tell me about your date.

Here is my honest narration,
Friendzone is nothing much but a gruelling affliction.
Offering you everything you need,
Although knowing it is a never-ending land it leads.

What do I mean to you?
Why do you never give me a chance too?
You once described I was a nice guy,
Oh well, you can always try before you ‘buy’!

I dreamed that we could have our own sweet nest,
Yet you left me awake with a sweet unrest.
How nice is it, if my dreams turn real?
Then my fragile broken pieces will ever be healed!

Forlorn! Forlorn!
For thou aren’t fond.
Thou shalt not be responsible for my scar,
As you merely put me in a doomed Bell Jar.

Friendzone is like hell

Being in the friendzone is like a farmer (especially for the infantry type who is ONLY regarded as ‘friend’ by his crush) You just blindly follow what she tells you, and never refrains from it. The uncertainty about whether you will succeed one day keeps you going as you still believe in it. Fine.

What’s the worst part of it? Definitely when you are at Level 99 of Friendzone, when your ‘Goddess’ tells you who she likes, who she wants to sleep with, and who she fancies. D It is, definitely the day of doom. Yes, it feels a lot ‘better’ when you know the guy she goes for is NOT going to be the General, ya? You know what I mean? All your ‘track record’ turns out to be a total failure, like a kind of trash.

Friendzone is hell really, unless you can break it through. If you stay long enough to see their wedding, you might as well be a Saint, but they will not thank you for anything…. LOL

Mainstream

Sometimes in life, our behaviours are bounded by what the mainstream of people do, as you think, if you do something different, you’ll be labelled as being ‘odd’, and being in the ‘outgroup’. It’s just like when you are in the English lecture, and you’re doing your French homework, people would assume that you don’t belong to the English group, thus being a little bit odd.

Well, following the mainstream is somehow correct, in certain situation, only when you think it is the right thing to do. But it does not necessarily mean that if you don’t follow the majority of people, you are wrong. For example, if you’re in a party, and everyone is smoking weeds, you might end up being the outgroup if you don’t do what they do, but it is in many ways correct for you not to smoke.

Pressure from the mainstream affects what we do, and how we act. Just like in the lyrics of ‘Stacy’s Mom’, it says ‘I know it might be wrong, but I’m in love with Stacy’s Mom’. Why does it have to say ‘I know it might be WRONG’ for falling in love with Stacy’s Mom? For it is just a feeling, it is not morally wrong, or would not really harm anyone. Take it the other way round, I assume if someone says Stacy in the video is pretty, he might be condemned for being a ‘pervert’, because Stacy is too young. Well, in this case, I think it’s nothing wrong for people to admire Stacy, if he does not make any move. However, the perception or awareness of being condemned would somehow limit what people say.

Thoughts of the mainstream limit what we say, what we do, and how we think. Therefore, we will end up leaving too much being unsaid, being undone, and not being thought about. So, with all those limitations going on, how do we achieve freedom? Sometimes, we all need a time, to get a cup of tea, and think, as if we are the only ones in the world, and being unaware of the mainstream, and then come up with things that we really want to do, and that’s how we achieve true happiness, just like a salmon swimming upstream, to achieve its goal.

Happy new year to everyone! My new year resolution is… ehm… ya, is to accomplish the goals of 2014, which I should have done in 2013, because I promised them in 2012, and planned them in 2011. Anyway, thanks for everyone who came to this blog for visit, I hope you enjoyed reading my posts. As the first entry of the year, I am gonna try to write a wee story using certain song titles, or lyrics, or band names, and see how far I can go. It might be strange, but here it goes:

Mr. Brightside has had a crush on Stacey’s Mom, who is the wife of the Simple Man. On a Green Day, he decided to take her to the Hotel California, to eat the American Pie with Red Hot Chilli Peppers and show how he is In Too Deep for her. ‘It’s my life, it’s now or never, I ain’t gonna live forever!’ He became so determined after taking Cocaine.

‘Hi A Woman In Love, I am here tonight to show you My Love!’ Mr. Brightside said, with his eager eyes.
‘You such a Teenage Dirtbag, an American Idiot as well. I am not going with you no matter How Deep Is Your Love, you should Go Your Own WayStacey’s Mom replied.

‘I know, Somebody Told Me, you have a boyfriend. But Can You Feel My Love Tonight?
‘No thank you, just Let It Go, and Shake it off. I cannot go even for a Saturday Night Fever with you. You can go back to Massachusetts.’
‘Well, at least we can go try Bowling For Soup, and see how it goes? Although I am a New Kid in Town, I like it here because of you! I can imagine we Counting Stars together! ‘
‘Oh dear, I know you were trouble when you walk in. I Don’t Look Back In Anger, I still have my family so…. you are never My Chemical Romance.’
I Need your love though, I like you, even When You Were Young, when we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun! If You Leave Me Now, I would be in the state of Desperado. Come on, my Sweet Caroline, my Cherry Pie!’
‘I never like the Simple Man, but he is Always On My Mind. I know The First Cut Is The Deepest, but I have to say no to you.’
‘Oh Beat it! I know You Needed Me! You’re My Everything! Words Don’t Come Easy, but My Heart Will Go On, until it is All Out Of Love! I don’t even know How Long Will I Love You! Just Carry Me! I am your Hero, and You Raise Me Up! I could even stay awake, just to hear your breathing I shall Make You Feel My Love, it is The Greatest Love Of All! Don’t Give Up On Us! We should be Flying Without Wings together and go Up Where We Belong!
‘Well, I am flattered, and this makes a Wonderful Tonight. However, it should be nicer If I Let You Go.’
‘Oh… with you saying this, I can feel my Tears In Heaven. It is not a Thriller. It feels like having November Rain in my heart, the cruelty and bitter-sweetness of the image of Guns & Roses.’
‘Oh Sweet Child O’ MineThis Never Happened Before, but what if we go for a meal on the First of May, and then see if I Lay My Love On You? You might be a Fool Again, but I’m a big big girl in a big big world, so things might change.’
‘Okie dokie, that is a date! I will wear my Billie Jean! I can’t wait till May, it is still September! Wake Me Up When September Ends please!’ Mr. Brightside finally had a bit of hope.
What about now? What about today? I assume we can still enjoy the meal, then go clubbing, then Roar and yell Timber, if you still like going out since Last Christmas,;
‘Yes, I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing! I shall say, it is probably one of the best page of the Story Of My Life!’

That’s where these two young lads are up to. Hopefully Mr. Brightside will enjoy the best One Moment In Time, and be The Luckiest.

That’s pretty much of the short story, hope you enjoyed it! Happy New Year =]

Hayes

Fragments of memories

American singer Kelly Clarkson has a song called ‘A moment like this’, which says A moment like this, some people wait a lifetime.

Yes, life is often composed of the past, of the memories we have, for certain moments that we always want to remember. After having read quite much Romantic literature (in terms of Romantic period), I can see that most writers at that time agreed with that too. Take my favourite poet John Keats as an example, in his poem Bright Star (which is one of my favourite poems of his), he was trying to capture the moment, that he was leaning towards his girlfriend Fanny Browne; in his Ode to a Nightingale, he was trying to turn the moment that he saw the nightingale into literature. Everyone has different moments that he wants to remember: the happy ones, the sad ones, the romantic ones, the hilarious ones, the touching ones…….. But it has to be unique, and probably special.

Well, do we actually live in the past, or the present? (I think we can neglect the possibility of living in the future as we are not Marty in Back to the Future) We all live in the past. If we think about it this way, life is just composed of all the fragments of memories we had, the ‘present’ that we see, is just going to turn to the past, to the history in the next second, just like Jimmy Hendrix said ‘The story if life is quicker than the wink of an eye), the present does not mean much as it turns to the past too quick. That is probably why my favourite Romantic writer John Keats, immersed himself into describing the memories he had, trying to re-collect some of the best moments he had, with the ‘words brighter than bright, and fairer than fair’ (when he described Fanny in his letter) If, I can travel back in time, I would also like to go through certain moments in my life again. (And of course I would like to visit Keats, as he is sometimes my inspiration of writing.) And the following piece of writing, is for me to remember a friend who is going back home soon. (I rarely write poems, so I am not sure if it is a good one)

Forlorn! Forlorn!
For thou art gone.
Lasting fragments I get,
When thou art back for dawn.

Eternal Sunshine with the waking dream,
Woken by the hateful gleam.
Go back where you belong,
We are fish in different streams.  

Although it’s exam time, my revision has continuously been interrupted by “Stacy’s Mom”. Yes, “Stacy’s Mom” is kind of my date, for the exam time. Yes, “Stacy’s Mom” has got it going on, as “I can’t take my eyes off you”. I am determined, to name my future daughter Stacy, because her mom would have got it going on. Then it would be a family of ‘Mr. Brightside’ and “Stacy’s Mom”, the best family ever.

The tune is good, but the MV actually caught my attention, as it can be seen as a film, maybe quite a tragic one. It is about a 13-year old boy having a crush on the mother of his classmate, the 14-year-old Stacy. So, he kept on making excuses to come over to Stacy’s home, to see her mom, while Stacy liked the boy. The boy went to the pool to swim with Stacy, while still looking at Stacy’s Mom while opening trying to open the drink; he offered help to mow a lawn in Stacy’s garden, while kept staring at Stacy’s Mom who was having a massage; he went to Stacy’s home to watch TV (technically the MV of the song), while turned around his head to look at the mom. He then developed the fantasy of the mom. The MV then ended with Stacy catching the boy ‘entertaining himself’. The boy was probably thinking about Stacy’s Mom, as the MV suggested; while Stacy seemed to believe that the boy was thinking of herself.

The MV seems to be quite realistic. As I have believed in ages, girls mature faster than boys, so boys tend to be comfortable with girls who seem a little bit older (This is not my perspective, I don’t mind age). The MV is an extreme case, with the boy having a crush on the mom. And it seems to be a BIG CRUSH. Why? In my humble opinion, Stacy is definitely more beautiful than her mom. But the boy still neglected her existence, and went for the mother. Oh dear, that’s a little boy in love, a scone in his eyes, turned into a swan, and he missed out the true glamour in front of him. The plot of this MV, probably echoes many people’s thoughts and experience. A MV with depth like this is rarely found nowadays, although this is pretty old already, in 2003. But it is still applicable today, still a legend.

Is it a little tragedy? Maybe, the boy likes the mom, who does not seem to like him in that way; while Stacy likes the boy. It is a never-satisfying relationship. Well, imagine there is a sequel of the song, the boy would probably end up with Stacy, as he becomes mature, he would notice his ‘fantasy’ would not be possible, and start discovering the beauty of Stacy again. It seems a little bit tragic, as a boy grows up, he finds out his dream is impossible, and gives it up. But it may not be a bad thing, as we can see, Stacy is better and more suitable.

I hope in the near future, “Stacy’s Mom” would be put into the theatre, it could be a really inspiring movie. If it turns out to be good, there would be a sequel too, possibly called “Stacy’s Lad”?

Here is the wonderful piece of music for ya, enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4