Tag Archive: crush


Diary

In the middle of the night, I stared to the dark.
Reading the diary, deep down in my heart.
Feeling like Romeo on stage,
Because you brighten up my page.

Since the first page you appeared in my diary,
You transformed into a holy fairy.
I wish the diary could get thicker each year,
And the main characters remain together, forever.

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‘After setting up the Guinness Record of beer tasting

I departed to Kronenbourg for a trip’

                                                                                                                           1664

The trip to Kronenbourg in France was completely random. Having no companion travelling with me, I decided to visit this little town in France for its fame on the best beer in the world, Kronenbourg Blanc. The journey from Aberdeen to Kronenbourg took a good couple days and cost a giant budget, and therefore I chose to stay in a cheap motel for the trip, and the motel itself, is called Hoegaarden.

I arrived in Kronenbourg on the 11th of July, 1664. The first thing I did, was to check-in for my stay in Hoegarrden. My first impression of the motel was that, it was pretty bright, but it did not look fancy at all. My thought of Coors Light came to mind: Cheap beer isn’t good for tasting, just like this cheap motel isn’t good for staying. But well, I might as well stay here to save some money.

I went to the reception and pressed the bell to be served. A lady, with an edelweiss headband, came with a smiley greeting. ‘Oh Edelweiss, Edelweiss, you look happy to greet me.’ I thought.

‘Good morning, sir. How can I help you today?’ She said with a friendly smile, with a French-ish accent. ‘I would like to check in please, a stay of… about two weeks? I am not exactly sure when I would go home but, Edelweiss shall bless my homeland forever so I am not too fussed about going back.’ I replied. ‘No problem, lately there are not many Tennent’s staying here so you are welcome to extend your booking anytime.’ She said in a happy tone. ‘Yep, thanks. We don’t really say ‘Tennent’s’ or tenants in this context but we call them residents I think. Thank you very much indeed. I am John Smith, and you are….’ I said with the greatest politeness. ‘My name is Stella, Stella Artois. Nice to meet you. You can teach me some English during your stay, and I can take you around the town of Kronenbourg, if you do not have much to do? There is nothing much in the motel that I do so…. Deal?’ She said with a giggle. ‘Yep sure indeed, it would be my pleasure and it sounds brilliant indeed!’ I replied. ‘Oui, since you are the first tennent, oh, no, resident in a month, here is a blue ribbon for you as a souvenir. And now I will show you your room.’ She then took me to show me my room.

It was pretty much a mini motel, and it didn’t even have a garden. I really wondered why it would be named Hoegaarden. But well, at least my room was tidy, with a bed, a writing table, and a little bathroom. Good! As she was going to leave, she asked me if I was free the next morning and she could show me the little park in the town as she would take her dog for a walk. Oh well, Edelweiss would really greet me in the morning!

Next morning at around eight o’clock, I was in the middle between dreaming and waking up, and I heard someone knocking the door. ‘Hey, good morning, Sir. This is Stella, you ready to go?’

‘Oh, Stella is so eager to show me around the town! Oh well, I am charming and suave, that is why!’ I thought with my ultimate confidence.

I went and opened the door, and saw Stella, still with an Edelweiss headband, holding her little dog, which looked like a Yorkshire Terrier to my knowledge.

‘Good morning Stella! How are you? Is this your dog?’ I asked ‘Oui, this is my dog, and his name is Brewdog because he brews a lot every day!’ She replied, with an interesting answer. ‘Oh Brewdog? Do you mean he pees a lot every day?’ I asked. ‘Ehm, yes I think I kind of mean that haha, are you ready for a walkie?’ She asked, with a gently smile. ‘Yes, I am ready whenever you are!’ I answered happily.

 

It was a nice, sunny day in the town of Kronenbourg. We walked a long a long, straight path for around an hour and a half, and finally we arrived at a park. During the walk, I got to know more about her background: So the motel was a family business of hers. Her parents passed away from an accident when she was twelve. She was then looked after by her uncle, Jack Daniel, who looked after the motel business until she went back and took care of the motel again when she turned twenty.

Back to the park where we went to with the little Brewdog. It was filled with greenery and there was a little lake in the middle.

‘Such a nice park, on a nice day, merci beaucoup my tour guide!’ I exclaimed. ‘You are welcome, sir! This park is called ‘Kingfisher Park’!’ She said. ‘Oh, that is a special name. Let me guess, there must be a very famous fisherman here?’ I asked. ‘You are right, sir. It was a bit of a legend, and I am not sure if it is entirely a true story. But around a century ago, there was a fisherman called Johnny Walker coming to this lake to fish. Since this is a small lake and no one has seen any fish in it, everyone thought it was a joke that he could fish anything. However, he somehow managed to fish a big salmon from it. And so, he was then crowned the Kingfisher, which gave the name of this park.’ She explained.

If listening to stories is all about focus, my focus was all over her angelic face, her melodic speech, and vivid gestures.

Well, it was a walkie for Brewdog, and we did need to keep him entertained. Stella picked a tree stick from the floor, and threw it.

Heineken!’ She shouted as she threw the stick away. ‘Heineken?’ I asked, with a question mark in my head. ‘Yes, Heineken indeed. This is like a little slogan. I used to say ‘High, lick it!’ as I threw the stick and Brewdog would run as fast as possible and get the stick. And sometimes I spoke it fast, it sounded like Heineken, and now I just say it.’ She answered.

This is the strangest, yet the most interesting girl I have seen.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. A few hours flew away quickly. Brewdog, after a few hours of chasing and playing with the stick, was tired. It was time to get home, walking along the long path again.

‘So you like the park, and obviously flowers?’ I asked, as we were walking. ‘Yes, no doubt. As you can see my Edelweiss headband.’ She replied. ‘That is nice, why Edelweiss though? Does it have any special meaning to you?’ I asked again. ‘Ehm, yes. Every time I see Edelweiss, I seem to hear the sound of music from the nature. For the Edelweiss I had on my head, I grew them since they were buds. They were even more beautiful when they were buds, and I called them Budweiser.’ She said, with a lovely smile, just like a blooming Edelweiss.

‘Arrrggghhh!’ Stella screamed suddenly, as we were walking, and pointed her finger forward.

There was a Cobra in the middle of the path, a big one indeed. I was scared. Never had I so keenly aware of the ability of my palm to manufacture sweat. But… with a terrified girl next to me, there was nothing I couldn’t do, because I was a knight, a chivalric one!

With the eye of Tiger, I held Stella’s hand, and lifted Brewdog with my other hand, and quickly ran to the Cobra, as if I was the Guinness record holder of the fastest sprinter in the world. The Cobra was flicking its tongue as I approached it.

‘Do not attempt to lick us, you cannot do Heineken, you are nae Brewdog!’ I shouted, as I kicked the Cobra when I approached it. I knocked the Cobra out!

‘Thank you very much, Sir! You are so brave!’ She exclaimed. ‘Well, you know, I am nae afraid of anything, and it was just easy peasy.’ I said. ‘Yep, you are such a Carling man!’ She said, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. ‘Ehm… You meant caring, don’t you? But thanks!’ I said, and my heart was pumping fast.

Never had I felt so alive! Who cares if she meant Carling or caring? Are there any more beautiful words than Carling or caring? Well, my palm was still sweating, but, she didn’t let go of my hand. So I was determined to hold that girl’s hand for every single second until we were back to Hoegaarden.

So we were back at Hoegaarden, and it was already afternoon. I was tired, but it had been a really nice day.

‘Thank you for keeping me company for the day, and saving me from the Cobra.’ She said to me. ‘You are welcome, and you are such a good tour guide, explaining the history and things in the park today.’ I said. ‘It is no problem at all! Ehm… Are you free tomorrow evening?’ She popped a question, unexpectedly. ‘Ehm… Ye… Yes, I am fr…ee tomorrow evening.’ I answered, oh, my heart started pumping fast again. ‘Would you like to have dinner with me? I know there is a good Chinese restaurant nearby, it is called Tsingdao. I only go there once in a Blue Moon, but it is really nice. I will meet you tomorrow at six in the evening then!’ She explained, she seemed so keen. ‘Yes, that would be… so… so nice! Good, see you tomorrow then!’ I said happily. She then waved me goodbye, as I went back to my room, and wrote, as I had the mood to do so.

‘Okay, what was going on here? What is the feeling at the pit of my stomach? Who is this gorgeous Edelweiss lady in this motel? I have never been nervous speaking to girls, never feeling tongue-tied. I am… confused.’ I thought. ‘What time is it now? Only five? Still more than 24 hours to go until the dinner date?’ Time really couldn’t go faster!

The next day, I could not be bothered doing anything because I was so excited and nervous about the dinner date. Is there anything worse than sitting there waiting for your first date with your heart pumping super-fast? I would rather have my nails peeled off one by one with pliers than sitting in my room, sweating and being nervous.

At exactly six o’clock, she finally knocked my door. It was the most harmonic knocking sound I have ever heard.

‘Are you ready to go?’ She asked, as I opened the door for her. ‘Oui, let’s go!’ I said, with my heart being like a hammer, rattling within my ribcage. Then, we were on our way to Tsingdao.

I did not know where the restaurant was, but she said it was in a place called ‘Coors Light district’, which was not too far away from Hoegaarden. We walked there, and along the way, we talked about what we did during the day time. So her day was much more productive than mine. She took Brewdog to a farm for a walk, and then came back to Hoegaarden to work. Well, I could not really tell her I had been waiting for the dinner the whole day, could I? I simply told her that I took a rest today, and quickly changed the topic to the restaurant we were going to.

Not long after, we arrived at the restaurant. We were both hungry, and I looked at the menu outside, it wrote ‘Famous Grouse buy one get one free’. I was unsure about this dish, but it sounded appealing.

‘Have you had the Famous Grouse here?’ I asked. ‘Yes, it is basically a roasted grouse. We can have it, it is quite a good deal!’ She answered. Yep, it sounded like a fair deal, and so we ordered two Famous Grouse.

It was the first time I went to a Chinese restaurant. It was quite busy, but the atmosphere was quite warm. We were at the seats next to the window. As it was dinner time, there was a lighted candle in the middle of the table. How romantic was that?!

After we sat down, she started speaking about her life in the town. I was trying to concentrate on what she was saying, but I couldn’t. My focus was all on how beauteous she was. Her beautiful blue eyes shone like diamonds, or the blue in the summer skies.

When she caught my gaze, I felt lost in the magic maze.

It was not until the food arrived, that I regained my attention that I was actually in a restaurant. The food was delicious, but it had nothing to compare to my adore for her Edelweiss headband, blond ponytail, cherry sweet lips, the way she smacked her lips before she talked, the way she laughed……

I wanted to freeze time; I wanted to savour every moment during the dinner. The more I looked at her, the more I understood Keats’ words saying ‘A thing of beauty is a joy forever’. Her face became the eternal sunshine of my spotless mind.

Time went past, and we finished our meal, and of course, I paid for the meal, just trying to be a gentleman.

‘It is gin o’clock! Do you want to go back to Hoegaarden for a drink? She asked, as we left the restaurant. ‘Yes sure, that would sound good. What do you want to drink?’ I asked. ‘I said it is gin o’clock. My uncle Gordon sells gin to make a living, and he gave me a bottle of his gin last Christmas. I have not opened it yet, but I think it would be a good drink for tonight.’ She answered. ‘Yes, that sounds good as well, let’s have gin!’ I said, feeling quite excited as she seemed to enjoy the dinner date.

We went back to Hoegaarden. The familiar place being so unfamiliar, since the original place for holiday became the venue of a date, and it felt a bit like a place for me to be interviewed. We went to the reception, and Stella asked me to go behind the till with her. ‘What is she doing?’ I thought.

Behind the till, there was a trap door.

She opened the trap door, and then asked me to follow her to get down.

She climbed down first, then I followed her. It was like the fifth step, that we saw some light. I looked down, and there was actually a hidden compartment , and it felt like another world.

We reached the lower-ground floor, it was like another lounge, but this one it was like a greenhouse, with a field of flowers, and a table with chairs at the corner. I was shocked, how can there be a hidden compartment in the motel? It was such a beautiful place too, with the flowers blooming. ‘I see trees of green, red roses too, I see them bloom, for me and you.’ The lyrics ran through my head.

‘You did not expect this place, did you?’ She asked, with a giggle. ‘Oh yes, never expect there would be such a beautiful, hidden compartment here, with flowers too!’ I exclaimed. ‘Yes, the architect of this complex building is an enthusiast of nature, which is why he had to have a hidden compartment of flowers here. The idea is that people who work in this motel can enjoy the nature here when they are taking breaks. This is where I grew my Edelweiss too!’ She said, happily. ‘So this is the most important bit of Hoegaarden? Because this carries the architect’s mind?’ I asked. ‘Yes, the whole garden, is Hoegaarden. When we got the hotel, the designer told us that the part where normal people see without getting down the trap door is just the tip of iceberg. The architect is called Carl, and so we call the upper bit Carlsberg; while this bit is the centre of Hoegaarden.’ She said.

We then went to the table there, and she took out the bottle of gin from her uncle Gordon, which reads Gordon’s Gin. We started drinking. I was, ehmm, as nervous as a mouse in a cat house, because I felt like I had to make good impressions so that she would maybe like me.

‘How do you like Kronenbourg?’ She asked. ‘I em…. Think it is quite nice here, loving this place! This motel is good too!’ I answered, being a bit tongue-tied. ‘Yes, this is not a big city, but this is what I like, being quiet, and just … nice, a comfortable place to live in.’ She replied to me. ‘Same here, I prefer a place where I feel comfortable to live in, rather than a place where people are too materialistic. Sometimes, it is good to pause for a moment. Beauty is wrapped and hidden between every second of life, and if you don’t stop for a moment, you may miss it. This is why I like it here.’ I could not believe I came up with this suggestive answer. I was looking at her beautiful eyes when constructing my utterance, and the words just came naturally.

She seemed to have noticed the fact that I was staring at her as I was saying. Her pale face was slightly changing to pink, like rose. She looked like she was going to say something, but she did not say a word eventually. There was an awkward silence.

I was thinking about what to say. It was a moment where I needed to say something. I made such an entrance with my utterance and I had to back it up with something. Well, no, I was…I had to go back to Aberdeen to work anyway, maybe I should not tell her anything and start a joke? No! This is just an excuse for a coward not to admit the fact that he likes a woman. Love is about grand gestures; love is about going extra miles even if it may hurt; love is about discovering the courage inside you that you did not even know that existed!

With this mindset in my head, I finally asked ‘Can I extend my stay here?’, having the courage to catch her gaze when speaking. ‘Yes, the Carling man. Till when?’ She said, with a cheeky smile, as if she knew the idea behind my question. ‘That is caring, the Edelweiss lady. And the answer would be till…. whenever.’

 

P.S. Sequel coming up if there is traffic.

There is a type of girls who like to touch you when they speak to you.

They are usually nice people, with beauteous smiles like the sunshine, and make you feel comfortable when you spend time with them.

Sometimes when they speak to you, they will touch you (no matter whether they actually mean it), like touching your hand, or pet your shoulder. And when you make jokes, they will show a genuine happy smile.

Sometimes if you are like the most single person in the universe, your talent of ‘Final Fantasy’ might be triggered, and think that they are flirting with you by touching you. And then, the truth is, you just think too much. They never have any intentions. And  you end up entering the ‘army’ of the girl.

It’s Valentine’s Day soon, well, guys, wake up! Don’t live in your final fantasy! It’s just a day when chocolate is on discount!

Listen Children to a story that did happen long ago
In a kingdom within city and the uni-lad below

So I knew her in my second year of uni. After knowing her, I immediately applied to join her ‘army’ team, being the soldier around her. I went so far to an extent that, I went to McDonald’s to work because I knew she worked there. Despite the fact that we worked different shifts (She usually finished at 8am, while I started at 9am), I would literally go to work a couple hours early, just to see her. My manager sometimes said ‘Well, you do not get paid for starting early.’ I would just say ‘Well, I do not really care.’

She studied at university as well, and we were in the same course, and the same tutorial. Sometimes we studied till late, and she would come to my place for food before she went home. My fridge ended up being empty all the time but I wouldn’t really care.

This went on till almost Christmas time. One day, she said to me ‘Ahh I am spending my Christmas alone again this year…’ Maybe I thought about it too much, but I genuinely took it as an implication. Also, I thought ‘Well, it is time for me to resign from the army, and see if I can get further with her.’ So, i asked her to go to the beach on the silent night, and she said ‘Yes.’

At the beach, we lied down and were staring at the stars. At some point, I asked ‘Do you want to be my girlfriend?’, just that, just straight. She smiled, with ‘ha ha’, without saying anything. Well, what does it mean then? But I thought, if I asked further, it might ruined it. So I was like 50-50 about it, not sure about what she thought.

Then, on the 25th, we hanged out then went for a dinner at hers. I asked her again the same question. Her reply was the same, and somehow we just ate and finished the dinner cheerily. I didn’t ask further, I thought she wasn’t sure about it. THEN what?

She went home on the 31st December and said she would spend the new year with her family. Fair enough! But then what? On the new year day, she posted a picture of her and a guy holding hands, with loads of hearts in it. Well, fair enough, I asked her why she did not reject me right away? She said ‘If I rejected you, then you probably would not spend those time with me then.’ Oh… lol…. Well done, playaaa!

Well, once a soldier, always a soldier, she has always been a player and everytime she breaks up, I help her through, while HOPING (realising I cannot) I have a chance. I know I don’t but well, it’s hard anyway. So, once you’ve joined the Goddess’ Army, it’s hard for you to get out.

So what’s next year? I might have more hope on MU winning the Premier League than myself finding a partner.

What’s your view then?

 

Consistent Relationship

Relationship builds on trust. Without trust, a relationship can probably never grow well. It’s like growing a plant, you have to sometimes water it and take care of it, but sometimes you should leave some space for it to grow.

Relationship is an interesting, yet a wee little bit tricky when it comes to how you handle it. Couples in love of course want to see each other as many as possible (theoretically), despite the fact that individually, they still need their own space. However, seeing each other too much is probably also a risk. How? It MIGHT increase the chance of couples getting tired of each other before anything better can happen. So, what’s right to do? I guess, just set a time or two every week for meeting, just the couples themselves, to maintain the consistency of the relationship. The other time depends on context, depends on what the other one wants to do. It’s unfair to take up people’s time which is supposed to be spent as their own wish.

So, couples not spending every second together makes perfect sense honestly. This is where the tricky part is, TRUST. Andreas Capellanus (12th Century) wrote that ‘the lover is always fear that his love may not gain its desire. He fears anything that might harm it anyway.’ You have to trust that she is not doing anything to harm the relationship  that would completely ruin your mind if it happens. She’s not a property, but a partner rather. So it is the most terrible act if you control her everyday life. Imagine if you are treated that way, you wouldn’t be happy. This is how a relationship can be fun, with TRUST playing a part in it. It would be a great pleasure if you know you are trusting what is worth trusting.

Well, maybe enough for now. Why haven’t I updated for a while? I don’t know 😀 All I’m gonna say is, building a relationship is like building a bridge between two islands. Now the project begins, and you have to communicate with each other, to make the project works, to connect you two, just like the title of the song ‘vi to er smeltet sammen’ (Okay, maybe a bit cheesy but it means ‘the two of us melt into one’) Ahhh talking about this, the film ‘500 Days of Summer’ comes to mind. Good luck to all of us!

Being taken over by The Fear

Lily Allen’s The Fear can probably be crowned The National Anthem of the 21st Century.

‘I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them’

These opening lines cannot be more real. People nowadays don’t give a crap about anything other than money. It’s easy to say we shouldn’t be too materialistic, but it’s hard to put this principle into life. At the end of the day, money means power, and it gives you a very comfortable life. It’s difficult, if not impossible, not to be engulfed by the greed inside us. Again, at the end of the day, ‘I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner’.

‘And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous.’

This is exactly the view of the majority people I believe. We don’t seem to care how we get money, we don’t care about whether it’s ethic to do something in exchange of fame, glory, and eventually money. Is it the correct mindset? I don’t know. Living in a corrupted world, I don’t know what is real, and what I meant to feel anymore.

And here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QrnxD-NB4 you get to hear the great national anthem of the 21 century.


I do admire Lily Allen’s ability to write lyrics in a very very poetic form (at least to me it is so poetic). But the most important thing, is I think she does write people’s heart. I personally think, she did write a lot that reflects my life. The Fear is one of them, The Littlest Things… ehm… I may probably have encountered something similar.

Well, listening to Lily Allen’s at least gives me some comfort, so I know there are people outside who could still see the truth.

‘Sometimes I find myself sittin’ back and reminiscing,
especially when I have to watch other people kissin
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end’

Poetry: Friendzone

Well haven’t written a poem for a while. Wrote it after seeing a film quite related to friendzone, hope you all like it.

Friendzone, a doomed Bell Jar

Bittersweet memories,
I always offered, when you needed me.
Yes, you trusted me, you needed me, just not in that way.
As I am stuck in the ultimate friendzone, where you can tell me about your date.

Here is my honest narration,
Friendzone is nothing much but a gruelling affliction.
Offering you everything you need,
Although knowing it is a never-ending land it leads.

What do I mean to you?
Why do you never give me a chance too?
You once described I was a nice guy,
Oh well, you can always try before you ‘buy’!

I dreamed that we could have our own sweet nest,
Yet you left me awake with a sweet unrest.
How nice is it, if my dreams turn real?
Then my fragile broken pieces will ever be healed!

Forlorn! Forlorn!
For thou aren’t fond.
Thou shalt not be responsible for my scar,
As you merely put me in a doomed Bell Jar.

Having the ‘Friendzone Military rank’ in mind (which I will repost at the end of this entry), we know a friendzone occupation is like a real job, you can either get promoted or relegated. As in the real military rank, your ‘Goddess’ does not get many ‘General’s (Boyfriend), while she can probably be surrounded by a bunch of soldiers (most likely infantry and Arrow Army).

In order to get promotion, you can choose to do it actively by confessing yourself in different ways. This takes an awful lot of courage to do, but is very unlikely to succeed. Why? Because if you are the one she likes, you would have been automatically promoted before you even have to make a move. The other are unlikely to get even a date to try. But if you don’t confess, this will like a never-ending situation: you see your Goddess making out of other people, and you get jealous….. never ever ending. And… ‘Jealousy, turning Saints into the Sea’ as the Killers sang in Mr. Brightside.

Therefore, you somehow need to apply for the occupation of a General, although it is more than likely to end in a rejection. What happens next in the event of a rejection? Back off! If you don’t want yourself to get stuck in the never-ever-ending friendzone and keep getting jealous from time to time, back off! Why? For certain, she will get a general one day, and you don’t really want to see this, unless you can wholly give it up. And you know, one day, the General will evolve into the King (the husband), and your Goddess will be the Queen (the wife), and they will have a happy life somewhere with some princes and princesses. They will really ‘Rule the World’, oh, no, not the world, but your world. Well isn’t that what you ‘want’ though? Getting her happy by serving her whenever she needs?

Whether you should jump off the boat and quit the friendzone, and end the friendship (not really preferable though), depends on the situation. Well, it can be a hard decision to decide. A friendship can be a base of a relationship and it gives you hope sometimes. If you don’t resign from your post though, jealousy will likely to come to the way at certain point of your life.

Well it is nothing wrong to hand in your ‘application form’ to be a General, as after that, you can know what to do next depending on the situation. But just like applying for university, always know when to apply, what is the entry requirement, and prepare for the ‘interview’ (if you are lucky enough to get a date). Don’t be shy, go and try. Good luck to everyone willing to be the General of the Apple of your eyes!

Friendzone Rank:

1: Infantry–> only serves the ‘Goddess’, but cannot do anything to her.
2: Navy –> richer than ‘Infantry’, using money and gifts to maintain relationship with the ‘Goddess’.

3: Horse soldier –> Can have the qualities of ‘infantry’ or ‘navy’, or both, but gets to be the ‘friend with benefits’ with the ‘Goddess’. Is also the highest rank of soldiers.
4: Arrow army –> Long distance relationship with the ‘Goddess’, using text/ Skype/ Facebook to contact, possibly haven’t even seen the ‘Goddess’ in real life.
5: Wizards (Evil): Getting alcohol or drugs to get benefits from the ‘Goddess’

The Royal Family:
1. King –> Husband of your ‘Goddess’
2. Queen –> Your ‘Goddess’ after Marriage
3. General –> Boyfriend of your Goddess
4. Prince/ Princess –> Children of your Goddess

Friendzone is like hell

Being in the friendzone is like a farmer (especially for the infantry type who is ONLY regarded as ‘friend’ by his crush) You just blindly follow what she tells you, and never refrains from it. The uncertainty about whether you will succeed one day keeps you going as you still believe in it. Fine.

What’s the worst part of it? Definitely when you are at Level 99 of Friendzone, when your ‘Goddess’ tells you who she likes, who she wants to sleep with, and who she fancies. D It is, definitely the day of doom. Yes, it feels a lot ‘better’ when you know the guy she goes for is NOT going to be the General, ya? You know what I mean? All your ‘track record’ turns out to be a total failure, like a kind of trash.

Friendzone is hell really, unless you can break it through. If you stay long enough to see their wedding, you might as well be a Saint, but they will not thank you for anything…. LOL

Mainstream

Sometimes in life, our behaviours are bounded by what the mainstream of people do, as you think, if you do something different, you’ll be labelled as being ‘odd’, and being in the ‘outgroup’. It’s just like when you are in the English lecture, and you’re doing your French homework, people would assume that you don’t belong to the English group, thus being a little bit odd.

Well, following the mainstream is somehow correct, in certain situation, only when you think it is the right thing to do. But it does not necessarily mean that if you don’t follow the majority of people, you are wrong. For example, if you’re in a party, and everyone is smoking weeds, you might end up being the outgroup if you don’t do what they do, but it is in many ways correct for you not to smoke.

Pressure from the mainstream affects what we do, and how we act. Just like in the lyrics of ‘Stacy’s Mom’, it says ‘I know it might be wrong, but I’m in love with Stacy’s Mom’. Why does it have to say ‘I know it might be WRONG’ for falling in love with Stacy’s Mom? For it is just a feeling, it is not morally wrong, or would not really harm anyone. Take it the other way round, I assume if someone says Stacy in the video is pretty, he might be condemned for being a ‘pervert’, because Stacy is too young. Well, in this case, I think it’s nothing wrong for people to admire Stacy, if he does not make any move. However, the perception or awareness of being condemned would somehow limit what people say.

Thoughts of the mainstream limit what we say, what we do, and how we think. Therefore, we will end up leaving too much being unsaid, being undone, and not being thought about. So, with all those limitations going on, how do we achieve freedom? Sometimes, we all need a time, to get a cup of tea, and think, as if we are the only ones in the world, and being unaware of the mainstream, and then come up with things that we really want to do, and that’s how we achieve true happiness, just like a salmon swimming upstream, to achieve its goal.