Tag Archive: Friend


So, a friend of mine (who is a girl) asked me how to flirt with a guy who plays tennis. (Yea, that’s a sign of ultimate friendzone: https://hayeschan.wordpress.com/2015/03/12/ultimate-friend-zone/)

Well, taken into account that table-tennis is similar to tennis, my table-tennis experience can help me tackle her problem. This post is probably useful if you are a girl liking a sporty guy (like me #legend)

So, get a chance to play table-tennis (abbreviated as TT ) with him. Just saying ‘Oh you are so good, it is so hard to hit the ball! Teach me!’ Even if you may be very good, pretend to be not-quite good, at least worse than him. Just hit every shot off the table, and then say ‘Oh why am I not even getting it right?’ and be frustrated. Just make a scene, then he will come and ask you ‘Is everything alright? You are doing well!’. Then, you reply ‘AHHHHH I am playing so badly, no one is gonna play with me anymore because i am rubbish! Saw you having a very good techniques like topspin, can you help me more?’

The biggest weapon of a girl is probably her tears. If he is a knightly guy, he will definitely say ‘YES!’ (If he says NO he is probably the utter rubbish and can be dumped to the trash bin) So he will hold your hand and teach you! (Just as Beatles’ ”I wanna hold your hand”)

Then, as the session (your dream) starts approaching the end, you just say ‘Oh it is getting late, I have to go. Can we practise more? Can I have your number so I can contact you? So we can arrange training?’ 99% he will say OKAY NO PROBLEM! Of course, after getting the number, you are free to whatsapp/ text unlimitedly because he is probably going to reply and the conversation will go on and on as if it is only the two of you existing on the planet.

Caution: The self-confidence of guys is sometimes so weak, so if you are very good at TT, do NOT try to say ‘Let’s play a match!’ and then beat him 11-0 or 11-1 in every set. You have to lose even if you are better than him (As the Quest to fail in Childe Roland)

Tips: Help him to wipe the sweat at the end; stick the plaster to his wound if he gets hurt (He will never take the plaster away even when the wound gets smelly). 100%sure win!

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Being taken over by The Fear

Lily Allen’s The Fear can probably be crowned The National Anthem of the 21st Century.

‘I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them’

These opening lines cannot be more real. People nowadays don’t give a crap about anything other than money. It’s easy to say we shouldn’t be too materialistic, but it’s hard to put this principle into life. At the end of the day, money means power, and it gives you a very comfortable life. It’s difficult, if not impossible, not to be engulfed by the greed inside us. Again, at the end of the day, ‘I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner’.

‘And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous.’

This is exactly the view of the majority people I believe. We don’t seem to care how we get money, we don’t care about whether it’s ethic to do something in exchange of fame, glory, and eventually money. Is it the correct mindset? I don’t know. Living in a corrupted world, I don’t know what is real, and what I meant to feel anymore.

And here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QrnxD-NB4 you get to hear the great national anthem of the 21 century.


I do admire Lily Allen’s ability to write lyrics in a very very poetic form (at least to me it is so poetic). But the most important thing, is I think she does write people’s heart. I personally think, she did write a lot that reflects my life. The Fear is one of them, The Littlest Things… ehm… I may probably have encountered something similar.

Well, listening to Lily Allen’s at least gives me some comfort, so I know there are people outside who could still see the truth.

‘Sometimes I find myself sittin’ back and reminiscing,
especially when I have to watch other people kissin
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end’

Yesterday, an old penfriend of mine suddenly texted me via facebook to initiate a conversation. We haven’t been writing for years after writing for years. And we found out the reason we stopped writing was quite…. a dumb one… It was, either my letter never arrived, or hers never arrived, so we thought the other person didn’t want to write anymore. Then, it has been years, that we never spoke again! It’s kind of like the plot of ‘The Notebook’ by Nicolas Sparks.

Time flies, we both had a lot of changes: I came to UK to study, and now working hard on my immigration plan. She used to have horses, and now she didn’t have horses anymore due to a terrible fall. She used to think university was difficult but now she is studying in one…..

Time flies, people change. If there is one thing that makes people change, that must be time. As time goes by, people who were always there supporting you, may be gone forever; and of course, some new people will join into your life. No one can ever walk with you in your whole life time, just a certain period of time. You come to the world alone, and you probably leave it the same way.

Well, as Thomas Hardy said ‘Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change.’ When there is a change, we just have to adapt to it, then life will go alright, no matter what change it is. 🙂

Copenhagen trip

Never thought a solo-trip could be so fun. It was the first time travelling alone for me, but it allowed me to make a lot of new friends in Copenhagen!

Copenhagen is indeed a lovely place, in everything. Nice weather (except for the day I travelled back to Aberdeen). People are nice and friendly too, you could literally get to where you want without even reading a map, because people are so nice that they can take you to the place.Out of all the places, my favourite one is Nyhavn (the most likely place you will see when you receive a postcard from Denmark). Get a beer, walk along Nyhavn, you can’t find anything better.

Of course, there are more than Nyhavn. Tivoli Garden is what I love too. As an amusement park, it is suitable for people at any age because the entertainments of any aspects are being taken care of. Carlsberg Brewery is good, although it’s not my favourite brand of beer.

The bar DUPONG is definitely what I’ll recommend. A bar with table-tennis being a main theme, with people playing table-tennis at a very warm atmosphere. Although I went there alone, I didn’t feel being left out. I felt being part of the group. And of course, I got friends and good memories there!

Copenhagen is probably one of my favourite places now. I like it so much, that I think living there would be a very good idea. Well, maybe one day, I can have my own place in Nyhavn, so I can enjoy the good seaview everyday?

Maybe, I’d like Denmark more than UK?

Poetry: Friendzone

Well haven’t written a poem for a while. Wrote it after seeing a film quite related to friendzone, hope you all like it.

Friendzone, a doomed Bell Jar

Bittersweet memories,
I always offered, when you needed me.
Yes, you trusted me, you needed me, just not in that way.
As I am stuck in the ultimate friendzone, where you can tell me about your date.

Here is my honest narration,
Friendzone is nothing much but a gruelling affliction.
Offering you everything you need,
Although knowing it is a never-ending land it leads.

What do I mean to you?
Why do you never give me a chance too?
You once described I was a nice guy,
Oh well, you can always try before you ‘buy’!

I dreamed that we could have our own sweet nest,
Yet you left me awake with a sweet unrest.
How nice is it, if my dreams turn real?
Then my fragile broken pieces will ever be healed!

Forlorn! Forlorn!
For thou aren’t fond.
Thou shalt not be responsible for my scar,
As you merely put me in a doomed Bell Jar.

Having the ‘Friendzone Military rank’ in mind (which I will repost at the end of this entry), we know a friendzone occupation is like a real job, you can either get promoted or relegated. As in the real military rank, your ‘Goddess’ does not get many ‘General’s (Boyfriend), while she can probably be surrounded by a bunch of soldiers (most likely infantry and Arrow Army).

In order to get promotion, you can choose to do it actively by confessing yourself in different ways. This takes an awful lot of courage to do, but is very unlikely to succeed. Why? Because if you are the one she likes, you would have been automatically promoted before you even have to make a move. The other are unlikely to get even a date to try. But if you don’t confess, this will like a never-ending situation: you see your Goddess making out of other people, and you get jealous….. never ever ending. And… ‘Jealousy, turning Saints into the Sea’ as the Killers sang in Mr. Brightside.

Therefore, you somehow need to apply for the occupation of a General, although it is more than likely to end in a rejection. What happens next in the event of a rejection? Back off! If you don’t want yourself to get stuck in the never-ever-ending friendzone and keep getting jealous from time to time, back off! Why? For certain, she will get a general one day, and you don’t really want to see this, unless you can wholly give it up. And you know, one day, the General will evolve into the King (the husband), and your Goddess will be the Queen (the wife), and they will have a happy life somewhere with some princes and princesses. They will really ‘Rule the World’, oh, no, not the world, but your world. Well isn’t that what you ‘want’ though? Getting her happy by serving her whenever she needs?

Whether you should jump off the boat and quit the friendzone, and end the friendship (not really preferable though), depends on the situation. Well, it can be a hard decision to decide. A friendship can be a base of a relationship and it gives you hope sometimes. If you don’t resign from your post though, jealousy will likely to come to the way at certain point of your life.

Well it is nothing wrong to hand in your ‘application form’ to be a General, as after that, you can know what to do next depending on the situation. But just like applying for university, always know when to apply, what is the entry requirement, and prepare for the ‘interview’ (if you are lucky enough to get a date). Don’t be shy, go and try. Good luck to everyone willing to be the General of the Apple of your eyes!

Friendzone Rank:

1: Infantry–> only serves the ‘Goddess’, but cannot do anything to her.
2: Navy –> richer than ‘Infantry’, using money and gifts to maintain relationship with the ‘Goddess’.

3: Horse soldier –> Can have the qualities of ‘infantry’ or ‘navy’, or both, but gets to be the ‘friend with benefits’ with the ‘Goddess’. Is also the highest rank of soldiers.
4: Arrow army –> Long distance relationship with the ‘Goddess’, using text/ Skype/ Facebook to contact, possibly haven’t even seen the ‘Goddess’ in real life.
5: Wizards (Evil): Getting alcohol or drugs to get benefits from the ‘Goddess’

The Royal Family:
1. King –> Husband of your ‘Goddess’
2. Queen –> Your ‘Goddess’ after Marriage
3. General –> Boyfriend of your Goddess
4. Prince/ Princess –> Children of your Goddess

Friendzone is like hell

Being in the friendzone is like a farmer (especially for the infantry type who is ONLY regarded as ‘friend’ by his crush) You just blindly follow what she tells you, and never refrains from it. The uncertainty about whether you will succeed one day keeps you going as you still believe in it. Fine.

What’s the worst part of it? Definitely when you are at Level 99 of Friendzone, when your ‘Goddess’ tells you who she likes, who she wants to sleep with, and who she fancies. D It is, definitely the day of doom. Yes, it feels a lot ‘better’ when you know the guy she goes for is NOT going to be the General, ya? You know what I mean? All your ‘track record’ turns out to be a total failure, like a kind of trash.

Friendzone is hell really, unless you can break it through. If you stay long enough to see their wedding, you might as well be a Saint, but they will not thank you for anything…. LOL

Ultimate Friend Zone

In my blog post about the film ‘Love, Rosie’, I mentioned about different types of ‘Friend Zone’ fighters. Just in case you missed it, here it goes:

1: Infantry–> only serves the ‘Goddess’, but cannot do anything to her.
2: Navy –> richer than ‘Infantry’, using money and gifts to maintain relationship with the ‘Goddess’.
3: Horse soldier –> Can have the qualities of ‘infantry’ or ‘navy’, or both, but gets to be the ‘friend with benefits’ with the ‘Goddess’. Is also the highest rank of soldiers.
4: Arrow army –> Long distance relationship with the ‘Goddess’, using text/ Skype/ Facebook to contact, possibly haven’t even seen the ‘Goddess’ in real life.
5: Wizards (Evil): Getting alcohol or drugs to get benefits from the ‘Goddess’

Type 1 Infantry is by far the most common I have known. Well, imagine at night-time when you are about to sleep, your ‘Goddess’ suddenly texts you with her problems saying that she needs help, you will always try to pretend to be ‘Ya I am fine, I am always here to help’ LOL this is one of the hardest things to do, you know you’re not getting anything, you are just ‘helping’ for the sake of ‘helping’ it. Blindly following what your ‘Goddess’ says has already been your moral, your philosophy and stuff. It just feels like your are doing your own work for the sake of doing it, while you know you’re not gonna be promoted to the General (Official Boyfriend). Well I can imagine one can be at a certain ‘Friendzone’ fighter to different ‘Goddesses’, so you get more chances to get promoted someday. But if you are going for several ‘Goddesses’, Type 3 (Horse Soldier) and Type 5 (Wizard) will not be applicable to you as they will ruin your impression to other people. Type 2 is not recommended either unless you come from a very posh background. So Type 1 and Type 4 will probably be the only choices for fighters with multiple targets so your ‘Goddesses’ will not notice what you did to their ‘colleagues’. Just remember, keep your ‘clean sheet’, try to portray yourself as good as possible, then you should be fine! From Infantry to General is not easy, it’s like From Paris to Berlin; it’s like growing plants, you don’t know if the plant will grow well but you still do it. Being at a certain rank, is like having a visa, while some provides you with ILR (Indefinite Leave Remains), while some is just temporary. When you get promoted to General, you have successfully immigrated with a passport of your Goddess’ mind. Yes, I will be General Chan sometimes! It will not be far!

Since my parents recommended the movie ‘Love, Rosie’ a few weeks ago, I finally had a chance to give it a go.

First of all, the trailer itself spoils a little bit too much, unfortunately, I had a look on it before watching the film. Therefore, the film to me is predictable. However, it is still very realistic and touching.

Why do I find it realistic? Well, it is about a pair of good friends growing up together, thinking that they don’t like each other (although they do), they probably find it awkward if they have to confess to each other as they know each other too well, and therefore, they miss a lot of chances. Also, they probably avoid the chances of losing their long-lasting friendship as well. We all know how it feels, that’s probably the biggest obstacles of confession of all time, fear of losing. Then, people get into the friend-zone, and just live there forever and ever, believing that he/ she is not the right one. Anyone who has been in a friendzone should watch this, as it feels so real!

It is touching as well, partly because it’s so realistic, also when you think about the whole story, it takes more than 10 years for them to notice that they are the perfect one for each other. Some of the clips in the film are also impressive to make the audience feel that way. When watching this film, you get tears of joy, and tears of sadness, what a ‘meal deal’, or ‘movie deal’. I haven’t read the novel on which the film is based, but I am tempted to read it now.

Definitely, a good film, highly recommended to all those ‘soldiers’ fighting in the friend-zone. Here is the kind of friend-zone fighters I have known by the way:

1: Infantry–> only serves the ‘Goddess’, but cannot do anything to her.
2: Navy –> richer than ‘Infantry’, using money and gifts to maintain relationship with the ‘Goddess’.
3: Horse soldier –> Can have the qualities of ‘infantry’ or ‘navy’, or both, but gets to be the ‘friend with benefits’ with the ‘Goddess’. Is also the highest rank of soldiers.
4: Arrow army –> Long distance relationship with the ‘Goddess’, using text/ Skype/ Facebook to contact, possibly haven’t even seen the ‘Goddess’ in real life.
5: Wizards (Evil): Getting alcohol or drugs to get benefits from the ‘Goddess’

Well, which one are you?

500 Days of Summer is actually a movie with some depth. It is like tea, the more careful you ‘taste’ it, the better, the more detail you will find.

First of all, I definitely admire the chronological order of the story– no order. Some audience may feel annoyed when the movie begins at the 488th day, and time ‘jumps’ throughout the movie. If you find it annoying, you may as well find your own memories annoying. This is how we think, I don’t think people normally remember the past in a chronological order, they only remember the days which are worth remembering. The protagonist of the movie, Tom, fell in love with Summer, and this is basically a movie about his rememberance of Summer. Just think about it this way, if you have experience in a relationship, when you think about it on your own, you probably would not think from the beginning. Rather, you would think according the the importance of the days. This movie is quite a realistic imitation of how we think.

I see the movie in this way: Tom and Summer’s parents were both divorced, under the same situation, they had different belief in love. Tom always thought that it was not love between his parents, that’s why they got divorced. He always believed that one day, if he met ‘the one’, he would be truly happy. Summer, on the other hand, became pessimistic towards love. She thought love would end one day, just like what Gabe in ‘Little Manhattan’ said ‘Love ends!’. The flow of the story changes the two characters almost towards the end: Tom becomes suspicious in love, while Summer, the one who does not believe in love, and believe that she needs no one to keep her happy, actually gets married.

Poor Tom, ‘just because someone likes the same bizzaro crap that you do, does not make her your soul mate.’ Sometimes we think too much, and there can be difference between expectation and the reality (just like the scene that Tom went to Summer’s party when he saw the engagement ring on Summer). What happened to Summer, was probably what we call ‘Chemistry’, and she met the guy just under some random circumstances. Is that a sad ending? Some would think so. I think so, Summer probably still likes Tom, as we can see, after her marriage, she still goes to the place on the little hill (where Tom took her before), I think it means she still tries to grab the memories she had with Tom (Or am I thinking too much?). However, Tom works hard because of the grief from Summer’s Marriage, from what we call Chemistry! He quits the job that he does not like, and goes back to his field, architecture, and meet the new Autumn. Well, perfect end for Tom? Maybe, but we have to admit that he suffers from a ‘painful divorce’. What is ‘Chemistry’? Subject at school? Or the component for what we called ‘love at first sight’? What does that word even mean? ‘Chemistry’ gives you ‘crush’, gives you all the beautiful imagination of your ‘crush’. It hides all the bad things about her, while all the good things become a lot, a lot, a lot more fancination. What do you think?