Tag Archive: guy


So, a friend of mine (who is a girl) asked me how to flirt with a guy who plays tennis. (Yea, that’s a sign of ultimate friendzone: https://hayeschan.wordpress.com/2015/03/12/ultimate-friend-zone/)

Well, taken into account that table-tennis is similar to tennis, my table-tennis experience can help me tackle her problem. This post is probably useful if you are a girl liking a sporty guy (like me #legend)

So, get a chance to play table-tennis (abbreviated as TT ) with him. Just saying ‘Oh you are so good, it is so hard to hit the ball! Teach me!’ Even if you may be very good, pretend to be not-quite good, at least worse than him. Just hit every shot off the table, and then say ‘Oh why am I not even getting it right?’ and be frustrated. Just make a scene, then he will come and ask you ‘Is everything alright? You are doing well!’. Then, you reply ‘AHHHHH I am playing so badly, no one is gonna play with me anymore because i am rubbish! Saw you having a very good techniques like topspin, can you help me more?’

The biggest weapon of a girl is probably her tears. If he is a knightly guy, he will definitely say ‘YES!’ (If he says NO he is probably the utter rubbish and can be dumped to the trash bin) So he will hold your hand and teach you! (Just as Beatles’ ”I wanna hold your hand”)

Then, as the session (your dream) starts approaching the end, you just say ‘Oh it is getting late, I have to go. Can we practise more? Can I have your number so I can contact you? So we can arrange training?’ 99% he will say OKAY NO PROBLEM! Of course, after getting the number, you are free to whatsapp/ text unlimitedly because he is probably going to reply and the conversation will go on and on as if it is only the two of you existing on the planet.

Caution: The self-confidence of guys is sometimes so weak, so if you are very good at TT, do NOT try to say ‘Let’s play a match!’ and then beat him 11-0 or 11-1 in every set. You have to lose even if you are better than him (As the Quest to fail in Childe Roland)

Tips: Help him to wipe the sweat at the end; stick the plaster to his wound if he gets hurt (He will never take the plaster away even when the wound gets smelly). 100%sure win!

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Being taken over by The Fear

Lily Allen’s The Fear can probably be crowned The National Anthem of the 21st Century.

‘I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them’

These opening lines cannot be more real. People nowadays don’t give a crap about anything other than money. It’s easy to say we shouldn’t be too materialistic, but it’s hard to put this principle into life. At the end of the day, money means power, and it gives you a very comfortable life. It’s difficult, if not impossible, not to be engulfed by the greed inside us. Again, at the end of the day, ‘I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner’.

‘And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous.’

This is exactly the view of the majority people I believe. We don’t seem to care how we get money, we don’t care about whether it’s ethic to do something in exchange of fame, glory, and eventually money. Is it the correct mindset? I don’t know. Living in a corrupted world, I don’t know what is real, and what I meant to feel anymore.

And here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QrnxD-NB4 you get to hear the great national anthem of the 21 century.


I do admire Lily Allen’s ability to write lyrics in a very very poetic form (at least to me it is so poetic). But the most important thing, is I think she does write people’s heart. I personally think, she did write a lot that reflects my life. The Fear is one of them, The Littlest Things… ehm… I may probably have encountered something similar.

Well, listening to Lily Allen’s at least gives me some comfort, so I know there are people outside who could still see the truth.

‘Sometimes I find myself sittin’ back and reminiscing,
especially when I have to watch other people kissin
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end’

 

 

Having studied English literature for two and a half semesters, I genuinely think that the creative pick-up lines nowadays can really be categorized as ‘literature’.

Literature comes from human life, just as Wordsworth claimed, poetry should come from rural life. John Keats had a humble life, and became a great writer. What does it tell us? Literature originates from human life, as writers get inspired from what they see in human life.

Pick up lines, or chat up lines, are as Wordsworth mentioned, human language, as they are actually uttered by normal people. One of my favourite writer, John Keats, also included a pick-up-line-like line in his letter to Fanny Browne, saying ‘I almost wish we were butterflies and liv’d but three summer days – three such days with you I could fill with more delight than fifty common years could ever contain.’ He, as a Romantic writer, is, in my opinion, the beginner of the pink-up culture, a good, healthy, and sensible culture. I would imagine that, Wordsworth, who also agreed that literature comes from normal life, would love the pick-up-line culture, and expand the lines into rhymes, rhymes into poems, poems to a poetry collection. Yes, pick-up poems, pick-up books, pick-up passages that would help you through the ice-breaking process, and kill the dead air.

Do not underestimate the structure and techniques in pick-up lines, as far as I know, a successful pick up line is usually a highly metaphorical one, hopefully rhyme a bit. For example, ‘If you can build any kind of ship in the world, what would you build? I would build a relationship!’ This one is quite a metaphorical one, it may take the hearer a few seconds to realize what happened, its construction is detailed too, putting the ‘ship’ into the word ‘relation’ to make it work, clever. If you have read the poetry of Keats’, you would also find his work is as this line, highly metaphorical. So how can you not call good pick-up lines literature? The line ‘I have got XX kg of muscle of steel, and sex appeal.’ shows that pick up lines can rhyme. No matter how Wordsworth put forward the idea for blank verse, lines that rhyme are always better and more memorable.

Pick up lines are usually successful in making the hearer laugh, and it is usually the first step in building the possible ship, what ship? Relationship. But if you are going for one, don’t quote from Shakespeare for a pick-up line, because it is highly risky. Remember a quote from A Mid Summer Night’s Dream? ‘Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.‘ It can be seen as offensive. And for Much Ado About Nothing, ‘For which of my bad parts didst thou fall in love with me?’ Do not try it either, you might get a reply with the title of the play, ‘Just that one, but then I knew it was Much Ado About Nothing.’

Pick-up lines are generally inspired by creativity and the texts you read, the more you read, the more things you can make reference to. For instance, if you do not know anything about the Science, you can never come across the line ‘Hi, I need to accuse you of causing Global Warming because you are too hot.’ Wordsworh’s companion Coleridge is correct, poetry, or perhaps literature, is as logical as Science, but just deeper as it includes Science. There should be a course in English Literature degree called ‘Pick-up course’, because it is an integral part of ANY LITERATURE in the world, and is potentially a new favourite genre of literature. Yes, I am sure if a person can create a pick-up poetry, pick-up story, pick-up biography, or maybe a pick-up novel, he can probably be crowned as the next Keats!

 

 

There are many words with more than one meanings. The word ‘Crush’ is an example.

‘Crush. It’s funny how the same word for the feeling of disappointment can be used for the feeling of attraction. The OED ( Oxford English Dictionary) states one of the meanings for the word crushed as “a strong and unreasoning, but transitory attachment.” (Cashback 2006)

I think everyone must have at least a crush in life, no matter whether you get her or not. For a crush, you normally do not fall for her outer beauty, but rather personality. And, if you fall for someone’s personality, everything about them becomes beautiful, no matter what the objective perspectives are. No matter what you might have planned for your ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’ material, a crush is a crush, you just like her, regardless of what ‘you think you would like’.

Making a move to a crush is always a heart-threatening, and difficult one, because you’re afraid of losing her. Some people would go for some dramatic moves, like saying ‘You Jump I Jump.’; while some would be subtle and only keeps on texting; and some would transmit their feelings through action. Indeed, there are many ways, however, no matter how fluently you normally speak, you will always be tongue-tied , because in your heart, you know that you are a coward, you are always afraid of losing it, always afraid of your crush saying ‘NO’, and moving on with someone you think they like, and then, your heart will be CRUSHED (the other meaning– ‘to break, pound, or grind (stone or ore, for example) into small fragments or powder.‘) It is unlike going ‘fishing’ in Nightout, because the ‘fishes’ at nightouts are only for a laugh, while you know you like your crush, and you know that you would like to be with her, if you get her, you will be happy in your entire life.. Having a crush would make you live in the world with her, you would regard every one else as ‘fools who would never understand your passion’.

Making a move to a crush is not wrong, in my opinion. You show your passion, so you would not regret of what you SHOULD HAVE done, and lose your crush to the ‘bastards’. If it ends with a ‘YES’, you get what you want and deserve; if it ends with a ‘NO’, you can make a clear break (This is what people might say, but I think this is bullshit, because there is NO WAY you will feel good about this, no matter how your friends are gonna comfort you.)

Talking about a ‘NO’ answer, it sucks, it really does, because getting over it is hard. You might suffer from it, like being immune to sleep and eat, and being uninterested in ANYTHING other than IMAGINING that your crush would phone you and say ‘Ya, I like you, it is a YES!’. Some people suggest that ‘getting over a Crush is to turn her into literature.’ AYE, it does help, in the long term, but it does not change the fact that you will suffer. Trying to be sensible thinking about the reason of ‘REJECTION’ never helps too, because at the end of the day, the reason you think about is always ‘YEA SHE DOES NOT LIKE ME.’ It is indeed, inevitable to suffer for at least a few days, or even years. You may notice that there are ‘plenty fishes in the sea’, but you would still think this sentence as ‘bullshit’, no matter how many times you say it to your friends.

Aye, having a crush would often crush your heart, but it is like diarrhea, you can just never control it, as you know, in your heart, that the juice is worth the squeeze.

Girls should fancy guys who study English Literature

Girls should definitely fancy guys who study English Literature.

I remember my cousin ask me how she should choose a boyfriend.
I said ‘Girls should definitely find someone who study English Literature!’

Many people may have a mistaken concept: People who study English Literature are generally boring, and not as careful as the people who study Scientific subjects.
ALL ARE WRONG!
Guys who study English Literature are careful people, they can remember everything, like the publishing year, author, and every single outstanding work from every writer they like: So they must be able to remember all the important dates, like the girlfriends’ birthday, or the date for anniversary.

They have patience to take time for reading: when his girlfriend asks him to go shopping with her for a whole day, I am sure they can still deal with it comfortably.

Guys who study English literature are hard-working. When they are reading, facing lots and lots of words, most of the people are just sleeping. In summer, they read; in winter, they read. They are the toughest people in the planet, and it leads them to become successful in their career!

They definitely know the concept of ‘Words don’t come easy’, and they know it is the same for money. They are used to spending less on their own stuff, so they would end up spending more on their girlfriends. Where else can you find this kind of men?

A man studying Arts should already beat most guys in the world, but a man who studies English Literature can be called ‘the man of man’. Guys who study English Literature SHOULD LOGICALLY be the most attractive to girls!!!

I don't understand Temple Run!

I have played Temple Run for quite a while, but I don’t understand it.
There’s no ending, no ‘stages’ in Temple Run, you only have an endless way to run.
Everyone is like the guy in the game: starting from zero. In your whole journey, you’re all alone; when you fall, no one is gonna help you, there are only monsters trying to kill you!

The meaning of your life, is to make a fortune (coins), and then invest (upgrade), to help you get more money. As you get rich, you run long, you run fast, you get higher scores. There’re many missions for you to complete: the more you complete, the more successful you are. LOL but why are all those missions related to how much coins (money) you get and how far you run?!

In this game, you have no choice, but to run forever. Don’t tell me jumping or not, and when to jump are your choices, they are just the basic survival skills.

Maybe the only choice you can make in the game is to choose to turn left or right, but you will NEVER EVER get away with your only and destined ending: DEATH, because EVERYTHING in the game is created to kill you: you can get killed by falling down, by the monsters, or by hitting the wall. And after you die, there is also a picture showing WHY YOU DIE! Everything is created for your DEATH! Having come to the world for about 20 years, I have NEVER seen a game which has a more tragic theme, and more black humour, than Temple Run!

Why? Why do I still need to run? How big is the flipping Map? How long do I still have to run? I just want to come to an end!

The game is an ENDLESS thing: the guy never feels tired, but my hands do!