Tag Archive: her


Listen Children to a story that did happen long ago
In a kingdom within city and the uni-lad below

So I knew her in my second year of uni. After knowing her, I immediately applied to join her ‘army’ team, being the soldier around her. I went so far to an extent that, I went to McDonald’s to work because I knew she worked there. Despite the fact that we worked different shifts (She usually finished at 8am, while I started at 9am), I would literally go to work a couple hours early, just to see her. My manager sometimes said ‘Well, you do not get paid for starting early.’ I would just say ‘Well, I do not really care.’

She studied at university as well, and we were in the same course, and the same tutorial. Sometimes we studied till late, and she would come to my place for food before she went home. My fridge ended up being empty all the time but I wouldn’t really care.

This went on till almost Christmas time. One day, she said to me ‘Ahh I am spending my Christmas alone again this year…’ Maybe I thought about it too much, but I genuinely took it as an implication. Also, I thought ‘Well, it is time for me to resign from the army, and see if I can get further with her.’ So, i asked her to go to the beach on the silent night, and she said ‘Yes.’

At the beach, we lied down and were staring at the stars. At some point, I asked ‘Do you want to be my girlfriend?’, just that, just straight. She smiled, with ‘ha ha’, without saying anything.¬†Well, what does it mean then? But I thought, if I asked further, it might ruined it. So I was like 50-50 about it, not sure about what she thought.

Then, on the 25th, we hanged out then went for a dinner at hers. I asked her again the same question. Her reply was the same, and somehow we just ate and finished the dinner cheerily. I didn’t ask further, I thought she wasn’t sure about it. THEN what?

She went home on the 31st December and said she would spend the new year with her family. Fair enough! But then what? On the new year day, she posted a picture of her and a guy holding hands, with loads of hearts in it. Well, fair enough, I asked her why she did not reject me right away? She said ‘If I rejected you, then you probably would not spend those time with me then.’ Oh… lol…. Well done, playaaa!

Well, once a soldier, always a soldier, she has always been a player and everytime she breaks up, I help her¬†through, while HOPING (realising I cannot) I have a chance. I know I don’t but well, it’s hard anyway. So, once you’ve joined the Goddess’ Army, it’s hard for you to get out.

So what’s next year? I might have more hope on MU winning the Premier League than myself finding a partner.

What’s your view then?

 

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There are many words with more than one meanings. The word ‘Crush’ is an example.

‘Crush. It’s funny how the same word for the feeling of disappointment can be used for the feeling of attraction. The OED ( Oxford English Dictionary) states one of the meanings for the word crushed as “a strong and unreasoning, but transitory attachment.” (Cashback 2006)

I think everyone must have at least a crush in life, no matter whether you get her or not. For a crush, you normally do not fall for her outer beauty, but rather personality. And, if you fall for someone’s personality, everything about them becomes beautiful, no matter what the objective perspectives are. No matter what you might have planned for your ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’ material, a crush is a crush, you just like her, regardless of what ‘you think you would like’.

Making a move to a crush is always a heart-threatening, and difficult one, because you’re afraid of losing her. Some people would go for some dramatic moves, like saying ‘You Jump I Jump.’; while some would be subtle and only keeps on texting; and some would transmit their feelings through action. Indeed, there are many ways, however, no matter how fluently you normally speak, you will always be tongue-tied , because in your heart, you know that you are a coward, you are always afraid of losing it, always afraid of your crush saying ‘NO’, and moving on with someone you think they like, and then, your heart will be CRUSHED (the other meaning– ‘to break, pound, or grind (stone or ore, for example) into small fragments or powder.‘) It is unlike going ‘fishing’ in Nightout, because the ‘fishes’ at nightouts are only for a laugh, while you know you like your crush, and you know that you would like to be with her, if you get her, you will be happy in your entire life.. Having a crush would make you live in the world with her, you would regard every one else as ‘fools who would never understand your passion’.

Making a move to a crush is not wrong, in my opinion. You show your passion, so you would not regret of what you SHOULD HAVE done, and lose your crush to the ‘bastards’. If it ends with a ‘YES’, you get what you want and deserve; if it ends with a ‘NO’, you can make a clear break (This is what people might say, but I think this is bullshit, because there is NO WAY you will feel good about this, no matter how your friends are gonna comfort you.)

Talking about a ‘NO’ answer, it sucks, it really does, because getting over it is hard. You might suffer from it, like being immune to sleep and eat, and being uninterested in ANYTHING other than IMAGINING that your crush would phone you and say ‘Ya, I like you, it is a YES!’. Some people suggest that ‘getting over a Crush is to turn her into literature.’ AYE, it does help, in the long term, but it does not change the fact that you will suffer. Trying to be sensible thinking about the reason of ‘REJECTION’ never helps too, because at the end of the day, the reason you think about is always ‘YEA SHE DOES NOT LIKE ME.’ It is indeed, inevitable to suffer for at least a few days, or even years. You may notice that there are ‘plenty fishes in the sea’, but you would still think this sentence as ‘bullshit’, no matter how many times you say it to your friends.

Aye, having a crush would often crush your heart, but it is like diarrhea, you can just never control it, as you know, in your heart, that the juice is worth the squeeze.