Tag Archive: me


Expectation vs Reality

‘Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you. who understands you even in the madness; someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love.’
(Various sources)

This is quite a good quote about falling in love, and quotes like this, makes me want to believe in love again. It makes me want to believe that love is about finding a person who cares about you, who would understand you, and who is always there for your when you need. In other words, it’s about finding a person who shares mutual love with you, despite what the physical circumstances might be, such as geographical locations and other things. Yes, love is not about having a checklist or scoresheet rating your lover: where he lives, how much he earns, what languages he speaks, how tall he is (e.g. oh no, he lives quite far away, so I’d better not even try; oh no, he hasn’t got a proper job, no!!; oh no, he doesn’t speak my first language, then how would he be able to communicate with my friends and family?!; oh no, he just missed 175cm!)……… it should be about how you feel, and not just the numbers you have on your checklist!

Yep, while the above sounds romantically sensible, this is not how it works nowadays. The physical requirements can be real deal breakers nowadays, no matter how much you are willing to invest/ sacrifice/ commit to a relationship. Not fitting the bill can be seen as recipe for disaster…. well, distance is obviously the major culprit I would guess. The quote at the very beginning, while looking nice, gives people false hope on how a relationship would work. Reality checks in, and stabs you right at the heart, and leaves you bleeding on the cold, hard ground.

Dreams, are my reality
I like to dream of you close to me.
I dream of loving in the night
And loving seems alright
Although it’s only fantasy.
                                                   (Richard Sanderson, Reality)

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How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d
(Alexander Pope)
This Alexander Pope’s quote is an interesting one. In general, it is about the chaste women devoting their lives to serving God, and cutting themselves off from real life. They are happy, because they can be ignorant to the burdens, and negativity in real life. The vestals, and the world don’t think about each other. The ‘eternal sunshine’ in line 3 refers to a mind that does not dwell on tribulations from the past and dissociates itself from anything from reality, thus being able to experience the true bliss, the true happiness. And therefore, they are able to accept every prayer, and they are able to demit themselves from their unrealistic wishes.
I like this poem, because it can serve as a comfort to individuals who are suffering from emotional problems. Well, is detaching from reality the best way of escapism? It may be a short-term remedy, but in the long run, you still need to face the problem, yourself. Running away from the problem never helps, because the ‘eternal sunshine’ in the poem is unrealistic. Everyone has problems that he/ she has to deal with. That differentiates our life stories, as we are all different, and we have different chapters in our lives. A successful life belongs to the ones who can overcome difficulties, and enjoy life while surrounded by obstacles, any time, anywhere.

So a few days ago, I was listening to 90s/ 2000s music while studying (probably not the best idea ever!), and I came across the song ‘Teenage Dirtbag’. This song reminded me of my ‘prime’ time in my second year, partying every night. I dwelt back into the time, and watched the MV. I found that the song is based on the movie ‘Loser’ (2002) (or the other way round, just that the two things are connected!) Anyway, so the song and MV initiated my curiosity for the movie, so I watched it yesterday.

Well, no spoiling for the plot here, but despite all the bad comments about the film, I have to admit that I found it quite sweet. Generally it is a high school, teen romance. There’s nothing very fancy about the film, the plot is simple, the soundtrack is quite good….. but sometimes simplicity is the beauty. I wouldn’t say the plot is very realistic, but for certain parts, you can really link yourself into it: there must be a moment in anyone’s life that he feels he does not fit in his social group, yea? Once again, it is a very simple film, but it did warm my heart a little. So, give it a go!

I also think Mena Suvari stood out from the film, she did a great job in being a pure, cute, cheeky, but struggling girl. I will definitely watch more of her films in the near future.

Lastly, here is the Teenage Dirtbag song for you!

The more I listen to ‘Somebody Told Me’, the more I believe that The Killers have been friend-zoned before. Or else, how can they write about songs which are that realistic to the guys being friendzoned? Arts comes from experiences in life, how can they write lines like ‘Somebody told me, you have a boyfriend, who looks like a girlfriend, that I had in February…’ ? Those lines can pound the heart of people who get friendzoned as they are just so so real!

Although ‘Mr Brightside’ should have no relations to ‘Somebody Told Me’, I see it as a sequel of ‘Somebody Told Me’. After the jealousy you get when ‘Somebody Told Me, you have a boyfriend….’, then you have ‘Jealousy, turning saints into the sea’ as ‘She is touching his chest’ and ‘he takes of her dress now’….

‘It’s not fair, and I think you’re mean, I think you’re really mean, I think you’re really mean.
It’s not fair, and it’s really not okay, it’s really not okay, it’s really not okay.’ —> Guess whose song is this?

Here are the two friendzone-pounders:


Enjoy! Bon appetite!

So yesterday was a crucial date for Scotland, it determined whether it would become an independent country.

For myself, I don’t have the right to vote (as I haven’t been here long enough), I may not have the right to support any side either (I have only be here for 2 years). I would say, it is destiny that made me come to Scotland, I chose Aberdeen University only because it’s the first university that appeared on the UCAS list (due to its alphabetical order), with no practical reason. Having been here for a few months, I found this place lovely, and unique. Scottish people are friendly, they have great landscape, Aberdeen has its own marvellous granite as it is called the granite city, Loch Ness has its own mystery for the Loch Ness Monster, Shetland has its own Shetland ponies, Highland has its own Scottish Whiskey….. Scotland is just a land with a lot of unique features, and I love it profoundly!

I am in favor of YES Campaign for Scotland Independence Referendum firstly because I guess it would be easier for me to immigrate to this amazing land if Scotland becomes independent. Yes, I was selfish and I only thought about myself. That’s why I joined the YES Campaign on their FB Group. Having been there for a while, I very much appreciate the efforts that they have put in, in order to achieve their goal. They may have different background, but they only have one aim: Scotland Independence. From what I saw, they genuinely have their reasonable arguments FOR Scotland Independence, and they indeed tried 110% of what they could have done to get as many YES votes as possible. I am actually touched by their efforts, and their passion about Scotland, and so I started persuading my friends to vote YES. I don’t have the right to vote, however, I successfully got 2 of my friends changing from NO to YES, and 3 friends from not voting to voting YES, so hopefully they kind of voted on my behalf.

We lost. However, I would think it as a glorious defeat, as I believe most of the YES voters have got their logical reasons in mind, and they truly believe in Independence; while some of the NO voters were probably just ignorant, refusing to here what the YES was about. I respect the finaly results, I respect the NO voters who actually have their reasons. I don’t know, but I found that YES voters, regardless of their defeat, are more respectable for their attempt for innovation, and revolution, while the NO votes would probably refer to being defensive and safe. I think the world somehow needs some innovation and revolution to improve, so if I could vote, it would definitely have been the biggest YES. I am disappointed, for sure, I thought Scottish people are the ones who sing the songs of Freedom, Scotland the Brave, but when they got the chance of having their freedom, they just chose not to have it.

Thinking about my future, with Scotland being back to UK again, the immigration policy would be pretty hard. I can still do it, as long as I can get a decent job, or open a business here. However, I shall find another way as well, as I don’t want to go back to HK or China anymore. I love Europe. So I may immigrate to Ireland, or France I assume (if I cannot immigrate to Scotland/ UK), so it may be time for me to pick up French again. Once I have got the EU passport, then I can always easily come back to Scotland to live, it may just take a longer time!

Regret

Regret

We feel happy when we do things right; we regret when we do things wrong, or even doing the right things to the wrong ones. Life is long, we must all have experienced the feeling of regret.

The feeling of regret, is awful, especially when you cannot compensate for mistake. It feels like…. You are on a train, and you drop something out of the window. The train, as a metaphor of the time, would not stop because of you, and you can never pick up your belonging again.

It happens, as we all know. No human-being can ever live a life without making a mistake, the feeling of regret, is inevitable. It sucks really… Dealing with regret, is a hard job, the only thing you can possibly do, is to avoid ourselves to dwell in it. Always easy to say, but easy to do. The only suggestion that I could give, would be to take part in some other activities, so that you can put your mind on something else. It might make you feel better.

Lately I have something to regret about. My friend had told me about some of her conditions before. I did not believe her when the first time she mentioned it….. I didn’t expect it to be that serious…. I started to feel regret like 2 months ago… probably I have dwelled in it already… Oh dear…I really feel so sorry for her… That’s why I said, regret, is so painful. She said ‘It is fine’. But I still feel so bad about it….

My friend, I get it, I DO care about it, I don’t really understand it, but I will support thee!