Tag Archive: reality

Expectation vs Reality

‘Fall in love with someone who wants you, who waits for you. who understands you even in the madness; someone who helps you, and guides you, someone who is your support, your hope. fall in love with someone who talks with you after a fight. Fall in love with someone who misses you and wants to be with you. Do not fall in love only with a body or with a face; or with the idea of being in love.’
(Various sources)

This is quite a good quote about falling in love, and quotes like this, makes me want to believe in love again. It makes me want to believe that love is about finding a person who cares about you, who would understand you, and who is always there for your when you need. In other words, it’s about finding a person who shares mutual love with you, despite what the physical circumstances might be, such as geographical locations and other things. Yes, love is not about having a checklist or scoresheet rating your lover: where he lives, how much he earns, what languages he speaks, how tall he is (e.g. oh no, he lives quite far away, so I’d better not even try; oh no, he hasn’t got a proper job, no!!; oh no, he doesn’t speak my first language, then how would he be able to communicate with my friends and family?!; oh no, he just missed 175cm!)……… it should be about how you feel, and not just the numbers you have on your checklist!

Yep, while the above sounds romantically sensible, this is not how it works nowadays. The physical requirements can be real deal breakers nowadays, no matter how much you are willing to invest/ sacrifice/ commit to a relationship. Not fitting the bill can be seen as recipe for disaster…. well, distance is obviously the major culprit I would guess. The quote at the very beginning, while looking nice, gives people false hope on how a relationship would work. Reality checks in, and stabs you right at the heart, and leaves you bleeding on the cold, hard ground.

Dreams, are my reality
I like to dream of you close to me.
I dream of loving in the night
And loving seems alright
Although it’s only fantasy.
                                                   (Richard Sanderson, Reality)


Random poetry

She, is a funny little dime.
To fall for her, is just a matter of time.
Alcohol makes me sober with feeling,
And today it creates a sense of seeing.

Thou saw me needing you,
Who shalt I turn to?
The thing you mentioned that night,
It’s harsh, right?

Dreams are my reality,
I’d like to dream of you close to me.
Lol I just prove my self superior and mighty,
And move away from any wearies!

There are many people out there saying ‘Romance films are boring, non-sense, and only lead to your “Final Fantasy”‘ People who think like this are too naïve, and haven’t lived long enough to see the reality of the world.

You have to have enough experience in the world, e.g. being tricked/ friendzoned  by the girl you like, before you truly admire a ‘romance’ work. A romance work, is a world where a man and woman can love each other freely, neglecting the limitation of the reality: If you two like each other, you can be together; if you fancy a couple of birds, you can work on those simultaneously and see which one work out the best; if you two just have physical needs, you can be friends with benefits. Yes it’s unrealistic, but why do you not think about it this way: Can the reality in which we live in, give us the happiness that we can obtain from those romance story? In the world of romance, it is not like ‘there is no negativity like hates, jealousy and the ugliness of human being’, it is just that every character can express themselves honestly, expressing the full love or hate, unlike in the real world, everyone lives within his hoods, hiding his real thoughts, escaping from the social network.

Fantasy exists in everyone’s heart, romance work is not place for you to escape from the real world, but a place to let you feel the happiness that the real world cannot give you. So, romance will teach you something wrong about the real world? Then, detective stories will teach you to commit crime, right? ‘Hunger Games’ teaches you to be selfish? If you don’t have self-control, you will probably learn to abuse animals after watching Pokémon. Listening to people who are against the genre of Romance, I have absolutely No Comment.

Being taken over by The Fear

Lily Allen’s The Fear can probably be crowned The National Anthem of the 21st Century.

‘I want to be rich and I want lots of money
I don’t care about clever I don’t care about funny
I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
I heard people die while they are trying to find them’

These opening lines cannot be more real. People nowadays don’t give a crap about anything other than money. It’s easy to say we shouldn’t be too materialistic, but it’s hard to put this principle into life. At the end of the day, money means power, and it gives you a very comfortable life. It’s difficult, if not impossible, not to be engulfed by the greed inside us. Again, at the end of the day, ‘I’m not a saint but I’m not a sinner’.

‘And I’ll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
‘Cause everyone knows that’s how you get famous.’

This is exactly the view of the majority people I believe. We don’t seem to care how we get money, we don’t care about whether it’s ethic to do something in exchange of fame, glory, and eventually money. Is it the correct mindset? I don’t know. Living in a corrupted world, I don’t know what is real, and what I meant to feel anymore.

And here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25QrnxD-NB4 you get to hear the great national anthem of the 21 century.

I do admire Lily Allen’s ability to write lyrics in a very very poetic form (at least to me it is so poetic). But the most important thing, is I think she does write people’s heart. I personally think, she did write a lot that reflects my life. The Fear is one of them, The Littlest Things… ehm… I may probably have encountered something similar.

Well, listening to Lily Allen’s at least gives me some comfort, so I know there are people outside who could still see the truth.

‘Sometimes I find myself sittin’ back and reminiscing,
especially when I have to watch other people kissin
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found the light in the tunnel at the end’

Music as the paint of life

If life is a drawing, music would be the paint of life. We live in a world with sound and music, imagine if they don’t exist, how dull would life be? (LOL it is so philosophical)

Not trying to be philosophical here. But I think music can somehow make your day. For me, I divide music to different categories:

1) Dance Music
Nothing is better than beginning a day with some sort of dancefloor music (what I call). For me, the lyrics “It’s going down, I’m yelling Timber! You’d better move, you’d better dance!” can somehow make my day if I listen to it in the morning. Personally, this song gave me inspiration about table-tennis too, as “I’d BETTER MOVE!” is what I need to do when playing a match! Probably this is also the song that I knew the first time I went clubbing, so this song always have connotation to fun time in my mind. ‘Mr Brightside’ is also a good one, I knew ‘The Killers’ from the song ‘When you were young’ (I like that too!), but Mr. Brightside’s beginning instrumental is always a knock-out to my stress.

2) Reflective Music
There are some musics that can reflect your life/ experience. ‘Flying without Wings’ by Westlife is one, especially when I do some good deeds, I feel like flying without wings! In Contrast, “But I’m a Creep, I’m a weirdo….” would keep repeating itself in my mind whenever I do something bad. By bad, I mean REAL BAD! Whenever I lose a close match in table-tennis, I seem to hear Westlife’s ‘FOOL AGAIN’ in my mind…. “I can’t believe that I’m a fool again!”…. Oh dear, what a mess. Of course, one of the nicest songs, but you don’t want the lyrics to happen to you, is probably The Killer’s ‘Somebody Told Me’. Why? ‘Somebody told me, you have a boyfriend, who looked like a girlfriend….’

3) Music that tells a story
Yes indeed, story can be told through songs, that’s why BALLADS exist. (Holy cow, did I just mention Ballads? I don’t like ballads anymore after doing the essay on Lyrical Ballads!)  ‘Wake Me Up in September Ends’ is always a good one, everytime I listen to this song I would watch the MV too, I treat it like a story. California, for some reasons, seems to be a popular name for song, with ‘Dani California’ and ‘Hotel California’. Well, I don’t mean they are like movies, but they kind of try to give you a visionary experience of the lyrics (Not sure what I’m talking about lol).

4) Music for tea time
I am probably the only one who would categorize musics for Tea Time. Well, it’s nothing special, but similar to what other people would call ‘Love Songs’. Examples include the legendary Celine Dion’s ‘My heart will go on’, Richard Sanderson’s ‘Reality’, ‘Dan Hill’s ‘Sometimes When We Touch’….. Why do I choose those kind of music for tea? Those are love songs, with lyrics mainly about ‘feelings’. WORDS don’t come easy, and need to be tasted like food.

Yea, try to colour your life with more music! I’d better go and get prepared for the match tonight, so I wouldn’t be a ‘FOOL AGAIN’

My Dream Life

People have different attitudes towards their dream life. Some of them wanna be extremely rich; some wanna be famous; some wanna be powerful or something…. For me, despite the fact that I shared many ‘practical’ methods to get rich, my dream life is pretty simple.

First of all, of course I need to be good enough to support myself and my family (my future family). So for this, I will need a relatively good job with some not-too-bad income. My wife and my children would live in a house, while I will get my parents another house, and we all live in Scotland. Although I mentioned that I wanted a big house like the ones in Rubislaw Den South, I know it might be tough to achieve. I don’t put high hope in it, because the more hopeful I am, the more disappointed I may be, and what’s the point of putting myself into disappointment? I just need decent houses, warm and nice, maybe not so posh.

I will be good enough to support the living of my whole family. My wife (not sure who yet, but I am more into sweeties than hotties haha) will be a housewife taking care of my children, my parents would visit many different places as they have free time. My kids… um… they would definitely be encouraged to play some Ping Pong, I am sure they would be good players!

What else? ah my job. I actually don’t really mind the job I do, as long as I don’t hate it and it gives me enough to support my family. Probably I would like to do something related to writing, because I think writing is interesting; or maybe teaching? I think teaching is alright. But of course, I am not a workaholic, so I want my future job to give me enough time to relax as well. I would, of course, carry on to play Table-tennis! Hopefully by the time I turn 35, I could get some individual medals. I would keep on playing the piano too, because I like it, and I would sometimes like to share the harmony I play! 😀

Well hope it all goes well, and no one knows the future, maybe I’ll be so famous in the future, and the world would change a bit because of me! 🙂

Innocence vs the Cruel Reality

Today, I want to share a little story that I have heard. I don’t know whether it’s just a fiction, but it’s worth hearing.

Here it goes:
Once upon a time, there were two young lads loving the same girl, among them, one was rich, and one was poor. They both told the girl that they liked her at the same time. The girl then said ‘You two can tell me that you like me after you have travelled around the world, it shows your loyalty if you don’t change your mind after seeing the girls in the world’

Then, the rich lad immediately booked the flight ticket and got on the trip; the poor lad, on the other hand, ran around the girl once, then told the girl ‘I have finished my trip around the world, because you are my world, and I love you!’ The girl smiled, and asked him to wait as she needed time to decide.

The rich lad finally came back from the trip. The girl, eventually, chose to go out with the rich lad, and left the poor lad alone.

This is the end of the story. I think the story is quite realistic too, because SAFETY is what people should look for, and money provides the feeling of being protected in some sense, probably this is why the girl would choose the rich lad at the end. The world is cruel, no matter how sweet, how caring the poor lad is, he still lost. I think nowadays, some girls are being too realistic, and somehow miss some of the caring ideas or sweet things that the men (who like them) do for them. If people are full of innocence, the world would definitely be a better place, with people attempting to do anything, creating new things and expressing their thoughts without any concern. Love, would also be a more magical relationship rather than a deal.

Dream and Reality

Dream and Reality

Time flies, now my second year in uni is almost done.
Some of my friends already think about their future career.
I do as well, and I did a lot of research about what I will be able to do in the future, and it should be what people at my age do.

Well, having come to do world for about 20 years, have I done anything that I really enjoy doing?
I still remember the first day when I went to the kindergarten, I cried a lot. As I knew, school is a terrible place, and from that day onward, I needed to begin my more-than-10-year study.
When I was in primary school (a bit older), I always wanted the time in school to ‘fly’. Why? Because I wanted to go back home straight away to play games.
In Secondary school, I always questioned ‘Why do I have to study many subjects when a teacher cannot possibly teach all of them on his own? Why do I need to study Mathematics? When would I apply the Math I learn to life?’ And why did we need to take many exams? Would anyone possibly say ‘I like taking exams!’? Those could hardly be what a person likes to do in my opinion.

Well, what about those fresh graduates from universities?
Most of them, just want to find a normal officer job, with steady salary, working 9-5 everyday. But is it actually what they want? I believe, everyone had some kind of dreams when they were young. I still remember when I was young, I told my teacher ‘I would like to be a famous writer, I will have my own fiction, and I will live in a castle!’ I believe most people would have a certain period of ‘innocence’, having a dream about what they wanna do when they grow up. Who would say that their dream is to be a normal officer with a normal steady pay?

Since when, a person starts to leave their innocence stage, not thinking about what he actually wants? When everyone becomes that realistic, then what’s the point of life? Life would be so boring without dream. I know, some people may say ‘You cannot take your dream as your food, dream does not give you anything!’ I don’t know how to answer that, but that’s just my opinion, what would you prefer?

Girls and guys

Girls and guys

There is a new shop selling husbands in New York, girls can get in there directly to choose her perfect spouse. This is how the shop works:
A girl can only enter the shop once, and there are six floors in the shop, and as she goes up, she finds men with higher qualities. At each floor, she can either choose a husband, or go up to another floor. However, unless she leaves the shop, she can never go down back to the floor that she has been.

One day, a girl entered the shop to find a husband. There was a notice on the door of the first floor: the men here have a good job. She did not even see the first-floor men, and went up to the second floor.

Again, there was a notice on the door: The men here have a good job, and they like children. And again, she did not even look at the men on the second floor, and went to the third floor.

The third floor: The men here have a good job, they like children, and they have good-looking. ‘Wow!’ she exclaimed. But still, she went up again.

The forth floor: The men here have a good job, they like children, they have good-looking and they do housework. ‘Oh my good lord!’ she said. ‘I like this, but I want something more!’ So she went up again!

The fifth floor: The men here have a good job, they like children, they have a perfect outlook, they do housework, and they are so romantic! That girl wanted to stay, but she was too greedy and had too much hope in finding a perfect man. So she went up.

On the sixth floor, there was a big electric notice board. When the girl went up, it showed ‘Welcome, you are the 3620561th guest to this floor. There is no men here, the existence of this floor, is just to prove how hard it is to satisfy many girls in this world. Thank you for coming!’

There is a wife-selling-shop at the opposite of the husband-selling-shop, and it works the same as the husband-selling-shop.

The women on the first floor are good in bed.

The women on the second floor are good in bed, beautiful, and have the perfect body shapes.

All men who come to this shop have never reached the third floor or above.

This story shows that:
Girls think a lot, and they have a lot of fantasies and hope, but sometimes they are not that realistic.
Guys are realistic, and are able to face the reality, but they don’t think using their mind.

Beauty of having a crush

As a normal teenager, it is more than common to have a crush towards someone. If you are lucky, you would eventually get to be with your crush; if you are not (for example if she or he rejects you, or if he or she have another crush……), it could really be quite painful.

Most people would probably think that having a crush is bad: you like a person, but you don’t let him or her know because you are afraid, the shortest distance between you and her suddenly becomes like the longest distance in the world! Yes, it is painful, and I do believe you HAVE TO let your crush know about some time!

However, having a crush is not entirely a bad thing. First, it gives you more motivation to do every thing properly. For instance, if you crush is a dessert lover, then you would probably try to learn do make desserts in order to impress him or her. This is probably one of the funniest part of having a crush, because you don’t quite want your crush to know about how you feel yet, but you try to create some common interest, and thus giving yourself common topics when you talk. Crush, is a very powerful motivation for people to improve.

The second beautiful part of having a crush is about your fantasy towards your crush. If a person has a crush, he would think about the crush every day, and this includes beautifying the crush, as if the crush is perfect in every thing. Ya, that is true, and this is wonderful, because you MIGHT only have this kind of thoughts in this period of time: If you are lucky enough to get to be with your crush, the way you see him or her MIGHT change (not in every case, but sometimes you might find out that your fantasy does not match the reality); if you are rejected or so, then … best not to dwell on it.

Having a crush could be painful in some sense, but it happens. It might end up well, or not, and gives you shaky feelings. But, if it happens, then we should TRY to treat it as a special experience: gives you endless motivation (until a certain time), and an opportunity to fantasize someone as perfection (the only opportunity unless you are a fan of something or someone). Yea, it is new year time, for those who have a crush, good luck, and do something properly, and THOU SHALT BE FINE!