Tag Archive: story


‘After setting up the Guinness Record of beer tasting

I departed to Kronenbourg for a trip’

                                                                                                                           1664

The trip to Kronenbourg in France was completely random. Having no companion travelling with me, I decided to visit this little town in France for its fame on the best beer in the world, Kronenbourg Blanc. The journey from Aberdeen to Kronenbourg took a good couple days and cost a giant budget, and therefore I chose to stay in a cheap motel for the trip, and the motel itself, is called Hoegaarden.

I arrived in Kronenbourg on the 11th of July, 1664. The first thing I did, was to check-in for my stay in Hoegarrden. My first impression of the motel was that, it was pretty bright, but it did not look fancy at all. My thought of Coors Light came to mind: Cheap beer isn’t good for tasting, just like this cheap motel isn’t good for staying. But well, I might as well stay here to save some money.

I went to the reception and pressed the bell to be served. A lady, with an edelweiss headband, came with a smiley greeting. ‘Oh Edelweiss, Edelweiss, you look happy to greet me.’ I thought.

‘Good morning, sir. How can I help you today?’ She said with a friendly smile, with a French-ish accent. ‘I would like to check in please, a stay of… about two weeks? I am not exactly sure when I would go home but, Edelweiss shall bless my homeland forever so I am not too fussed about going back.’ I replied. ‘No problem, lately there are not many Tennent’s staying here so you are welcome to extend your booking anytime.’ She said in a happy tone. ‘Yep, thanks. We don’t really say ‘Tennent’s’ or tenants in this context but we call them residents I think. Thank you very much indeed. I am John Smith, and you are….’ I said with the greatest politeness. ‘My name is Stella, Stella Artois. Nice to meet you. You can teach me some English during your stay, and I can take you around the town of Kronenbourg, if you do not have much to do? There is nothing much in the motel that I do so…. Deal?’ She said with a giggle. ‘Yep sure indeed, it would be my pleasure and it sounds brilliant indeed!’ I replied. ‘Oui, since you are the first tennent, oh, no, resident in a month, here is a blue ribbon for you as a souvenir. And now I will show you your room.’ She then took me to show me my room.

It was pretty much a mini motel, and it didn’t even have a garden. I really wondered why it would be named Hoegaarden. But well, at least my room was tidy, with a bed, a writing table, and a little bathroom. Good! As she was going to leave, she asked me if I was free the next morning and she could show me the little park in the town as she would take her dog for a walk. Oh well, Edelweiss would really greet me in the morning!

Next morning at around eight o’clock, I was in the middle between dreaming and waking up, and I heard someone knocking the door. ‘Hey, good morning, Sir. This is Stella, you ready to go?’

‘Oh, Stella is so eager to show me around the town! Oh well, I am charming and suave, that is why!’ I thought with my ultimate confidence.

I went and opened the door, and saw Stella, still with an Edelweiss headband, holding her little dog, which looked like a Yorkshire Terrier to my knowledge.

‘Good morning Stella! How are you? Is this your dog?’ I asked ‘Oui, this is my dog, and his name is Brewdog because he brews a lot every day!’ She replied, with an interesting answer. ‘Oh Brewdog? Do you mean he pees a lot every day?’ I asked. ‘Ehm, yes I think I kind of mean that haha, are you ready for a walkie?’ She asked, with a gently smile. ‘Yes, I am ready whenever you are!’ I answered happily.

 

It was a nice, sunny day in the town of Kronenbourg. We walked a long a long, straight path for around an hour and a half, and finally we arrived at a park. During the walk, I got to know more about her background: So the motel was a family business of hers. Her parents passed away from an accident when she was twelve. She was then looked after by her uncle, Jack Daniel, who looked after the motel business until she went back and took care of the motel again when she turned twenty.

Back to the park where we went to with the little Brewdog. It was filled with greenery and there was a little lake in the middle.

‘Such a nice park, on a nice day, merci beaucoup my tour guide!’ I exclaimed. ‘You are welcome, sir! This park is called ‘Kingfisher Park’!’ She said. ‘Oh, that is a special name. Let me guess, there must be a very famous fisherman here?’ I asked. ‘You are right, sir. It was a bit of a legend, and I am not sure if it is entirely a true story. But around a century ago, there was a fisherman called Johnny Walker coming to this lake to fish. Since this is a small lake and no one has seen any fish in it, everyone thought it was a joke that he could fish anything. However, he somehow managed to fish a big salmon from it. And so, he was then crowned the Kingfisher, which gave the name of this park.’ She explained.

If listening to stories is all about focus, my focus was all over her angelic face, her melodic speech, and vivid gestures.

Well, it was a walkie for Brewdog, and we did need to keep him entertained. Stella picked a tree stick from the floor, and threw it.

Heineken!’ She shouted as she threw the stick away. ‘Heineken?’ I asked, with a question mark in my head. ‘Yes, Heineken indeed. This is like a little slogan. I used to say ‘High, lick it!’ as I threw the stick and Brewdog would run as fast as possible and get the stick. And sometimes I spoke it fast, it sounded like Heineken, and now I just say it.’ She answered.

This is the strangest, yet the most interesting girl I have seen.

We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. A few hours flew away quickly. Brewdog, after a few hours of chasing and playing with the stick, was tired. It was time to get home, walking along the long path again.

‘So you like the park, and obviously flowers?’ I asked, as we were walking. ‘Yes, no doubt. As you can see my Edelweiss headband.’ She replied. ‘That is nice, why Edelweiss though? Does it have any special meaning to you?’ I asked again. ‘Ehm, yes. Every time I see Edelweiss, I seem to hear the sound of music from the nature. For the Edelweiss I had on my head, I grew them since they were buds. They were even more beautiful when they were buds, and I called them Budweiser.’ She said, with a lovely smile, just like a blooming Edelweiss.

‘Arrrggghhh!’ Stella screamed suddenly, as we were walking, and pointed her finger forward.

There was a Cobra in the middle of the path, a big one indeed. I was scared. Never had I so keenly aware of the ability of my palm to manufacture sweat. But… with a terrified girl next to me, there was nothing I couldn’t do, because I was a knight, a chivalric one!

With the eye of Tiger, I held Stella’s hand, and lifted Brewdog with my other hand, and quickly ran to the Cobra, as if I was the Guinness record holder of the fastest sprinter in the world. The Cobra was flicking its tongue as I approached it.

‘Do not attempt to lick us, you cannot do Heineken, you are nae Brewdog!’ I shouted, as I kicked the Cobra when I approached it. I knocked the Cobra out!

‘Thank you very much, Sir! You are so brave!’ She exclaimed. ‘Well, you know, I am nae afraid of anything, and it was just easy peasy.’ I said. ‘Yep, you are such a Carling man!’ She said, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. ‘Ehm… You meant caring, don’t you? But thanks!’ I said, and my heart was pumping fast.

Never had I felt so alive! Who cares if she meant Carling or caring? Are there any more beautiful words than Carling or caring? Well, my palm was still sweating, but, she didn’t let go of my hand. So I was determined to hold that girl’s hand for every single second until we were back to Hoegaarden.

So we were back at Hoegaarden, and it was already afternoon. I was tired, but it had been a really nice day.

‘Thank you for keeping me company for the day, and saving me from the Cobra.’ She said to me. ‘You are welcome, and you are such a good tour guide, explaining the history and things in the park today.’ I said. ‘It is no problem at all! Ehm… Are you free tomorrow evening?’ She popped a question, unexpectedly. ‘Ehm… Ye… Yes, I am fr…ee tomorrow evening.’ I answered, oh, my heart started pumping fast again. ‘Would you like to have dinner with me? I know there is a good Chinese restaurant nearby, it is called Tsingdao. I only go there once in a Blue Moon, but it is really nice. I will meet you tomorrow at six in the evening then!’ She explained, she seemed so keen. ‘Yes, that would be… so… so nice! Good, see you tomorrow then!’ I said happily. She then waved me goodbye, as I went back to my room, and wrote, as I had the mood to do so.

‘Okay, what was going on here? What is the feeling at the pit of my stomach? Who is this gorgeous Edelweiss lady in this motel? I have never been nervous speaking to girls, never feeling tongue-tied. I am… confused.’ I thought. ‘What time is it now? Only five? Still more than 24 hours to go until the dinner date?’ Time really couldn’t go faster!

The next day, I could not be bothered doing anything because I was so excited and nervous about the dinner date. Is there anything worse than sitting there waiting for your first date with your heart pumping super-fast? I would rather have my nails peeled off one by one with pliers than sitting in my room, sweating and being nervous.

At exactly six o’clock, she finally knocked my door. It was the most harmonic knocking sound I have ever heard.

‘Are you ready to go?’ She asked, as I opened the door for her. ‘Oui, let’s go!’ I said, with my heart being like a hammer, rattling within my ribcage. Then, we were on our way to Tsingdao.

I did not know where the restaurant was, but she said it was in a place called ‘Coors Light district’, which was not too far away from Hoegaarden. We walked there, and along the way, we talked about what we did during the day time. So her day was much more productive than mine. She took Brewdog to a farm for a walk, and then came back to Hoegaarden to work. Well, I could not really tell her I had been waiting for the dinner the whole day, could I? I simply told her that I took a rest today, and quickly changed the topic to the restaurant we were going to.

Not long after, we arrived at the restaurant. We were both hungry, and I looked at the menu outside, it wrote ‘Famous Grouse buy one get one free’. I was unsure about this dish, but it sounded appealing.

‘Have you had the Famous Grouse here?’ I asked. ‘Yes, it is basically a roasted grouse. We can have it, it is quite a good deal!’ She answered. Yep, it sounded like a fair deal, and so we ordered two Famous Grouse.

It was the first time I went to a Chinese restaurant. It was quite busy, but the atmosphere was quite warm. We were at the seats next to the window. As it was dinner time, there was a lighted candle in the middle of the table. How romantic was that?!

After we sat down, she started speaking about her life in the town. I was trying to concentrate on what she was saying, but I couldn’t. My focus was all on how beauteous she was. Her beautiful blue eyes shone like diamonds, or the blue in the summer skies.

When she caught my gaze, I felt lost in the magic maze.

It was not until the food arrived, that I regained my attention that I was actually in a restaurant. The food was delicious, but it had nothing to compare to my adore for her Edelweiss headband, blond ponytail, cherry sweet lips, the way she smacked her lips before she talked, the way she laughed……

I wanted to freeze time; I wanted to savour every moment during the dinner. The more I looked at her, the more I understood Keats’ words saying ‘A thing of beauty is a joy forever’. Her face became the eternal sunshine of my spotless mind.

Time went past, and we finished our meal, and of course, I paid for the meal, just trying to be a gentleman.

‘It is gin o’clock! Do you want to go back to Hoegaarden for a drink? She asked, as we left the restaurant. ‘Yes sure, that would sound good. What do you want to drink?’ I asked. ‘I said it is gin o’clock. My uncle Gordon sells gin to make a living, and he gave me a bottle of his gin last Christmas. I have not opened it yet, but I think it would be a good drink for tonight.’ She answered. ‘Yes, that sounds good as well, let’s have gin!’ I said, feeling quite excited as she seemed to enjoy the dinner date.

We went back to Hoegaarden. The familiar place being so unfamiliar, since the original place for holiday became the venue of a date, and it felt a bit like a place for me to be interviewed. We went to the reception, and Stella asked me to go behind the till with her. ‘What is she doing?’ I thought.

Behind the till, there was a trap door.

She opened the trap door, and then asked me to follow her to get down.

She climbed down first, then I followed her. It was like the fifth step, that we saw some light. I looked down, and there was actually a hidden compartment , and it felt like another world.

We reached the lower-ground floor, it was like another lounge, but this one it was like a greenhouse, with a field of flowers, and a table with chairs at the corner. I was shocked, how can there be a hidden compartment in the motel? It was such a beautiful place too, with the flowers blooming. ‘I see trees of green, red roses too, I see them bloom, for me and you.’ The lyrics ran through my head.

‘You did not expect this place, did you?’ She asked, with a giggle. ‘Oh yes, never expect there would be such a beautiful, hidden compartment here, with flowers too!’ I exclaimed. ‘Yes, the architect of this complex building is an enthusiast of nature, which is why he had to have a hidden compartment of flowers here. The idea is that people who work in this motel can enjoy the nature here when they are taking breaks. This is where I grew my Edelweiss too!’ She said, happily. ‘So this is the most important bit of Hoegaarden? Because this carries the architect’s mind?’ I asked. ‘Yes, the whole garden, is Hoegaarden. When we got the hotel, the designer told us that the part where normal people see without getting down the trap door is just the tip of iceberg. The architect is called Carl, and so we call the upper bit Carlsberg; while this bit is the centre of Hoegaarden.’ She said.

We then went to the table there, and she took out the bottle of gin from her uncle Gordon, which reads Gordon’s Gin. We started drinking. I was, ehmm, as nervous as a mouse in a cat house, because I felt like I had to make good impressions so that she would maybe like me.

‘How do you like Kronenbourg?’ She asked. ‘I em…. Think it is quite nice here, loving this place! This motel is good too!’ I answered, being a bit tongue-tied. ‘Yes, this is not a big city, but this is what I like, being quiet, and just … nice, a comfortable place to live in.’ She replied to me. ‘Same here, I prefer a place where I feel comfortable to live in, rather than a place where people are too materialistic. Sometimes, it is good to pause for a moment. Beauty is wrapped and hidden between every second of life, and if you don’t stop for a moment, you may miss it. This is why I like it here.’ I could not believe I came up with this suggestive answer. I was looking at her beautiful eyes when constructing my utterance, and the words just came naturally.

She seemed to have noticed the fact that I was staring at her as I was saying. Her pale face was slightly changing to pink, like rose. She looked like she was going to say something, but she did not say a word eventually. There was an awkward silence.

I was thinking about what to say. It was a moment where I needed to say something. I made such an entrance with my utterance and I had to back it up with something. Well, no, I was…I had to go back to Aberdeen to work anyway, maybe I should not tell her anything and start a joke? No! This is just an excuse for a coward not to admit the fact that he likes a woman. Love is about grand gestures; love is about going extra miles even if it may hurt; love is about discovering the courage inside you that you did not even know that existed!

With this mindset in my head, I finally asked ‘Can I extend my stay here?’, having the courage to catch her gaze when speaking. ‘Yes, the Carling man. Till when?’ She said, with a cheeky smile, as if she knew the idea behind my question. ‘That is caring, the Edelweiss lady. And the answer would be till…. whenever.’

 

P.S. Sequel coming up if there is traffic.

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When reading about the elections which are taking place in the US soon, I came across an anecdote about the previous US president, George Washington.

The story goes like this:
When the young Washington was 6, he was given a hatchet as a gift, and he was so enthusiastic that he would chop down whatever he wanted with the hatchet. One day, he chopped down his dad’s cherry tree. When asked by his father, he thought ‘I cannot tell lies’, so he admitted it. His father did not punish him, and instead, praised him for his honesty.

However, I had some queries about this anecdote:
1) Why would he receive a hatchet as a gift when he was 6? Isn’t he too young for having such a dangerous tool?
2) Why would he chop down his father’s favourite cherry tree when he knows it belongs to his dad? ‘Ha Ha! I know this is dad’s favourite cherry tree! So I have to cut it down!’ is that what he thought? He could have easily chopped down any trees when he goes outside.

Do you not think this anecdote is slightly too strange? And it is probably not true? Share your thoughts! 😀

One day, I was in the toilet, trying not to flush down the chocolate treasure I just produced with all my sweat and tears, after not being able to produced any for a whole damn week. That little poop, despite being extra-ordinary unlovely, spent many valuable, yet maybe ordinary, years with my  intestine.

Can I really forget what we have been through together?

Without a healthy-me, there wouldn’t be the little poop; without the little poop, there wouldn’t be a healthy-me. Is this special relationship comprehensible (digestible?) for any normal people?

At this moment, I remember someone told me ‘Sometimes, you are to dedicated to a things. You need to learn how to lift something down after you pick it up when it is the right time.’

BUT, do you know why I’m so dedicated? Everytime when I am lost, where are you? You said you’d always be here for me!  I’ve always been putting pressure in myself, because it has always been the little things in life that get me through tough time, and I cannot bear to say good-bye to the little things!

At that time, I heard the birds chanting outside, and I understood something: Everything has got where it belongs to, just like Richard Gere and Debra Winger have to go up where they belong in ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’ (1982) If I kept the poop in the toilet, it would be me being too selfish. It should really go back to the sea, and encounter another little poop, to open up a new chapter in life.

Thinking about this, tears went around my eyes, and I flushed the toilet, to farewell the little poop. I wore my trousers, leaving the toilet like a pro. And as I went, I finally found out, I had never wiped my butt!

So this year on the Valentine’s Day, my girlfriend and I planned to go out for dinner. When she finished her uni classes, she came to mine to pick me up. Suddenly, she said she needed a poop. She went to the toilet for a long long time, then I asked what’s wrong. Holy moly, she blocked the toilet with her sXXX. I then went to fix it.

She kept saying sorry, and I couldn’t stop laughing because it’s the first time I see this kind of events. It was going well, until I said ‘So this proves you are not perfect.’ as a joke. She asked why, I replied ‘BECAUSE GODDESSES NEVER POOP, AND BLOCK THE TOILET WITH THEIR SHIT, BECAUSE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT! HAHAHA!’ as a way to tease.

She got angry as an angry bird, from the time we went out, she never spoke a word. I was like playing a single game, it’s not multiplayer anymore. I finally couldn’t hold it, and asked ‘Hey, I am sorry, it was just a joke. What do I have to do to have you talking to me again?’

She pointed to a Pikachu doll in the toy shop, and said ‘Okay, so you have to pretend you are a Pikachu for the rest of the day, then we have words.’

Be a pikachu? LOL that’s a terrible request. But well, as a hopelessly romance cheeseball, I would take it.

‘Pika Pika! (Okay Okay)’ I said. From this moment, I told myself, that I am a Pikachu.

We walked, and walked. She suddenly asked ‘Yep, so where should we go for dinner tonight?’ I answered ‘Pikachu? Pika Pika Pi! (I was actually thinking The Bobbin, but I was just expecting that she would ask me to resign from my post as a ‘Pikachu’ as she does not understand what I said. However, she replied ‘Okay, Bobbin sounds good!’

Oh My Lord! She knew what I said? Did she just guess it randomly? I decided to try her with a few words.

‘Pika Pi! (Motherfker!)’, I said. She was shocked, and asked ‘Why do you swear? Swearing to me?’

Oh my lord in a box! She knew what I said! I immediately replied ‘Pika Pika Pi! (No, no no!) in a shaky voice.

So we went to Bobbin. Because it was the Valentine’s Day, it was quite full. I was even more nervous. If I kept being a ‘Pikachu’, people would notice and laugh at me. If I didn’t, a break-up is on its way.

We went to the bar to order food. It was my turn after my girlfriend ordered. I was thinking what do to. Suddenly, I had an idea, and said ‘Pi, Pi!’ to the bar-man. He looked confused, but then asked me whether I meant ‘beef, beer’. I nodded my head. Yep, done!

As we ate, I talked to my girlfriend as if I was a Pikachu. As we were about to leave, I looked at the people around us, maybe they actually thought that my girlfriend was having a dinner with a Pikachu.

We decided to go for a walk after the meal. As I walked, I felt like I had no dignity at all, and became the shame of mankind. But I looked at the girl next to me, apart from being silly making me doing some idiotic things, she is actually quite nice. (Sigh), this time she asked me to be a Pikachu, last time she asked me to be Donald Duck, what about next time…..?

She suddenly stopped walking, and whispered to me, saying ‘Thank you for being with me all the time. I hope you can be my Pokemon, forever, and ever!’

I felt so touched after this. And replied ‘Pika Pi (Thank you)’ and tears started running in my eyes.

Oh wait, tears seemed to come too quickly, that everything became blurred. I couldn’t see anything!

‘Pi! Pika? Pikachu?’ (Hey! Why? Where are you?)

‘Pikachu???’ (Where are you???)

.
.
.
.

I woke up, staring at the ceiling, finding I got tears in my eyes.

I looked at the calendar, 14/02/2016 it is.

Just when I thought i found the love of my life, it was actually a dream.
I went to the window, looking at the snow outside, thinking back to the dream,
I inhaled as much as I could, then shouted to the window
‘Pi..ka..chu! (FML)’

(The End)

Happy Valentine’s Day guys, or Independence Day to the Single Ones.

 

 

So in my high school, we were not allowed to eat in the classrooms.

One day, after having the P.E. lesson, I found myself a bit dizzy (probably because of lack of food, being too hungry). I was afraid that I might pass out in the following class, but I could not get any food from the foodstore as we were not allowed to eat in the classroom. And I just remembered I had chewy gums in my bag, so I decided to eat them when I could get back to the classroom (though it is not real food, it might help).

Back in the classroom, it was recess time, I took my bag out, and was going to get the chewy gums. Suddenly, the person who sat next to me, Steven, asked me to give him two. But I was too hungry, so I ignored him, and put all the gums I had into my mouth and chewed.

It was still recess time, there were prefects outside looking for ‘criminals’ who did ‘illegal’ things like eating in the classrooms. At some point, Steven took out a sandwich from his bag and gave it a bite (apparently he was hungry too), and lol, got spotted by a prefect.

The prefect went to Steven, asked him to get his student ID card out, and to go to the disciplinary department because we were not supposed to be eating in the classroom. I was so scared at that time, because I still had chewy gum in my mouth.

Just when the Steven and the prefect were about to step out of the classroom to the disciplinary department, Steven stopped, and pointed at me, telling the prefect ‘He is eating chewy gums as well, go get him too!’

‘Oh Bugger off, Steven!’ I thought.

The prefect came to me asking whether I was eating gums. I was listening to music at that time with my earphone on, so I pretended I could not hear him, and I thought the recess was almost over, so I just had to pretend not to understand him for a couple more minutes, then he would have to leave.

At that time, the prefect got angrier than the angry bird, and took one side of my earphone off, and asked me to open the mouth and let him check whether i was eating. I was afraid, and thought about swallowing the gums. But I couldn’t because i was too afraid.

I thought ‘Oh no, so this is the end of my clean sheet in school?’
Suddenly I had an idea. I used my hand to take off the other side of my earphone, and in that 0.1 second, I spitted the gum onto my hand, then open my mouth to the prefect, showing there is nothing in my mouth. He then smiled, and said ‘Thanks for your co-operation, sir.’  I replied, ‘No problem.’ Just before he wanted to leave, Steven shouted ‘It is on his hand!’

I thought ‘Oh no, so this is the end of my clean sheet in school?’
Suddenly I had an idea. I used my hand to take side of my earphone on, and in that 0.1 second, I put the gum into my mouth, then showed my hand to the prefect, proving that there is nothing on my hand. He then smiled, and said ‘Thanks for your co-operation, sir.’  I replied, ‘No problem.’ Just before he wanted to leave, Steven shouted ‘It is in his mouth!’

I thought ‘Oh no, so this is the end of my clean sheet in school?’
Suddenly I had an idea. I used my hand to take off the other side of my earphone, and in that 0.1 second, I spitted the gum onto my hand, then open my mouth to the prefect, showing there is nothing in my mouth. He then smiled, and said ‘Thanks for your co-operation, sir.’  I replied, ‘No problem.’ Just before he wanted to leave, Steven shouted ‘It is on his hand!’

I thought ‘Oh no, so this is the end of my clean sheet in school?’
Suddenly I had an idea. I used my hand to take side of my earphone on, and in that 0.1 second, I put the gum into my mouth, then showed my hand to the prefect, proving that there is nothing on my hand. He then smiled, and said ‘Thanks for your co-operation, sir.’  I replied, ‘No problem.’ Just before he wanted to leave, Steven shouted ‘It is in his mouth!’

I thought ‘Oh no, so this is the end of my clean sheet in school?’
Suddenly I had an idea. I used my hand to take off the other side of my earphone, and in that 0.1 second, I spitted the gum onto my hand, then open my mouth to the prefect, showing there is nothing in my mouth. He then smiled, and said ‘Thanks for your co-operation, sir.’  I replied, ‘No problem.’ Just before he wanted to leave, Steven shouted ‘It is on his hand!’

I thought ‘Oh no, so this is the end of my clean sheet in school?’
Suddenly I had an idea. I used my hand to take side of my earphone on, and in that 0.1 second, I put the gum into my mouth, then showed my hand to the prefect, proving that there is nothing on my hand. He then smiled, and said ‘Thanks for your co-operation, sir.’  I replied, ‘No problem.’ Just before he wanted to leave, Steven shouted ‘It is in his mouth!’

I thought ‘Oh no, so this is the end of my clean sheet in school?’
Suddenly I had an idea. I used my hand to take off the other side of my earphone, and in that 0.1 second, I spitted the gum onto my hand, then open my mouth to the prefect, showing there is nothing in my mouth. He then smiled, and said ‘Thanks for your co-operation, sir.’  I replied, ‘No problem.’ Just before he wanted to leave, Steven shouted ‘It is on his hand!’

I thought ‘Oh no, so this is the end of my clean sheet in school?’
Suddenly I had an idea. I used my hand to take side of my earphone on, and in that 0.1 second, I put the gum into my mouth, then showed my hand to the prefect, proving that there is nothing on my hand. He then smiled, and said ‘Thanks for your co-operation, sir.’  I replied, ‘No problem.’ Just before he wanted to leave, Steven shouted ‘It is in his mouth!’

………………….

The story of a robbery

So a group of robbers decided to rob a bank one day. As they approached to the bank, the leader shouted ‘Freeze! Do not move! Money belongs to the country while the life belongs to you!’ So the people inside did not dare to move and just lied down. One of the robbers is a university graduate. He asked the leader ‘We should count the cash we have got now so we know how much we have robbed and can divide them easily!’

The leader argued back right away, saying ‘Are you serious? It takes forever if you count it now! If you want to know how much we have robbed, just watch the news tonight you retard!’ (This is called experience, sometimes working experience is important)

After a day, the news report said there were £10 millions being robbed in the robbery, while the robbers could only count £2 millions from their loot. After a while, the leader finally understood what happened, as he sighed and said ‘Ahh we gambled our life just to get £2 millions, while the bankers earned £8 millions from doing nothing like us. Nowadays being tricky and clever is the way to get rich.’

Well, that’s the end of story. All I want to say is that, nowadays, earning money that gives you a good life is a lot harder than it used to be. Nowadays there are 4 main ways to get rich:
1) Born rich —> I lost at the starting line
2) Working at least at the managerial position —> Could still work but this way will be eliminated soon.
3) Investment —> The ongoing way to get rich, it is wise to at least learn about the stock market, and do it in a sensible way.
4) Start up a business —> Has always been a way to give you some wealth, but takes some efforts and risks as it can either be so successful or extremely terrible.

Working hard is crucial, but unlike in the previous years, hard-work does not really help much for people to create wealth. Considering people actually get rich from selling air, it is all about the brain nowadays. Intelligence and creativity have always been important, but now they weigh even more than hard-work. Even if you work more than 50 hours a week in a shop, you probably still struggle to pay your mortgage. While if there is a ‘click’ in your mind, and you start up something that the society adores, even like selling-air, you can really end up having a huge amount of money that you cannot even finish spending.

Well, that’s a chance for anybody, considering even selling air can really give you some money. I hope it will be me, who can have a click in my mind, and become the ‘modern day Gladiator’.

‘Left! Right! Left Right Left!’Soldier protects his Goddess from hands of falsehood, and wants the Goddess to share her life story with him. Soldier continuously runs around Goddess, staying alert 24/7. Everytime Goddess needs Soldier, Soldier sprints faster than Usain Bolt to Goddess without thinking about anything. Sometimes Soldier knows it is a trap, but he is fearless to death. Death, compared with the disappointment from the Goddess, is nothing, thinks Soldier. His greatest fear is the incomplete mission/ quest.

Goddess does not anymore use Soldier, whose name gets deleted on the Goddess’ name list. This is worse than death, thinks Soldier. He thinks back the unlimited honour he gets when talking to Goddess when she has a tough time, and starts sobbing.

Everytime he got text from Goddess, he got nervous because every word, every sentence is crucial in terms of the relationship he had with Goddess, and he aimed at spending the least time, texting the longest and the most meaningful message to Goddess as soon as possible. As time went by, he finally got the chance to go out with Goddess. Being able to go shopping with Goddess buying things she liked, Soldier felt like he was the happiest man in the whole wide world. Of course, Soldier’s budget got ruined in one day, and he relied only on porridge until he got paid next. Thinking about the smile on Goddess’ face, he saw the porridge not as a normal porridge, but a sweet porridge as a gift given by Goddess.

There was one night Solider went out with Goddess. That night, Goddess seemed abnormal. She looked like she had something to say, but did not really know how to start. Soldier saw this, and became sad. Then he took Goddess to the beach, and they sat on a bench. Goddess’ eyes became teary, while forcing herself not to cry. ‘Can I lean on your shoulder?’ Goddess asked. Soldier did not reply, but patted his shoulder, implying yes. This day, was the day when Goddess broke up. Soldier kept company with Goddess for the whole long night, as The Fray sings ‘I would have stayed up with you all night.’ Everyday since then, Soldier kept spreading positive messages to Goddess, trying to cheer her up. As months went by, the wound in Goddess’ heart finally recovered, and the sweet smile returned to her face again.

One evening, they went back to the bench at the beach. ‘You have been treating me so well and careful. Without you, I think I might have killed myself already.’ Goddess said. Soldier replied in a nervous tone ‘It is fine as long as you are happy! I always support you, no matter what you do! I hope you will share everything with me too!’ Goddess smiled politely, then said ‘Okay, I will then, as you wish. Lately, I have been going out with a guy in my class, and I am giving him a Christmas gift, but I do not know what to give him. As a guy, what would you like to receive for Christmas?’ This question gave Soldier a heart attack, and he nearly fainted. However, he recovered his consciousness within a few seconds, and talked about what he would like for Christmas. A few days later, Soldier received a photo from Goddess, and it was a picture of Goddess kissing her guy, and Goddess sent Soldier a text, saying ‘thank you’. Soldier replied ‘No Problem Mate!’

A few days later, Goddess asked to meet the already-depressed Soldier. Having looked at Soldier, Goddess touched his cheek with her warm hand, asking ‘Why are you so depressed? Did you not say that as long as I am happy, you are happy?’ Soldier had no choice, but to say YES. In the remaining days, Soldier kept on his quest to solve Goddess’ problems, thus repeating the previous parts of the story. As time went by, he got confused of what happiness meant. And he thought back the scene where Goddess said to him ‘As long as I am happy, you are happy,’ and this became the principle of his remaining, short, life in Goddess’ memories. So, is Soldier the most important person of Goddess’? Or is he just the most soldier person of Goddess?

p.s. This is just a fiction composed all out of nothing, pure imagination.

‘The Fault in Our Stars’, in my opinion, is an average film. Probably because of the fact that I’ve seen ‘Love Story ‘ (1970), then the it will be too predictable to me. Trust me, they have the same formula, just that not many people know ‘Love Story’ so they get so touched by ‘The Fault in Our Stars’ But to be honest, the book is better than the movie, and there is a scene which I particularly like.

If you know the plot, you know the two main characters do not really treat their relationship too seriously (because they are afraid that the death of one of them would hurt the other too much) until the dinner of a trip they go together. After the dinner, the boy declares his love for the girl for the first time.

‘I am in love with you’ (p.153)

As a male, when you declare to someone you love, you cannot be like a moron. If you are not ready, don’t do it just yet; if she is not ready, don’t start it just yet. Once you’ve decided to do, go do it. You have nothing much to lose. His simple but direct statement goes through to give the girl a shock, before he continues to say ‘I am’, meaning ‘I do NOT care how much time we have left but I have to say it!’

‘I  am in love with you, and I am not in
business of denying myself the simple
pleasure of saying true things.’

He refers the reason for his declaration to the simple pleasure of saying the truest things in his heart, which he refuses to deny. He is like ‘I ONLY WANT TO SAY THE TRUE THINGS!’

‘I’m in love with you, and i know that
love is just a shout into the void,
and that oblivion is inevitable,
and that we ‘re all doomed and that there
will come a day when all our labor
has been returned to dust,
and I know the sun will swallow the only
earth we’ll ever have,
and I am in love with you.’

He keeps repeating the sense that ‘I am in love with you’ to strengthen the mood, but this is not the main point here. Here, we can see an interesting point of view. Yep, life is too short for anything to be left unsaid. There must be a day when the earth is doomed, and human race gets extinct, and there is no point not to express yourself while you can. ‘A shout into the void’ is similar to Shakepare’s ‘Macbeth’ when he wrote ‘Life is but a walking shadow’It’s a pessimistic point of view for life, but it is somehow true. No matter how much you achieved in life, there must be a time, when your existence is no longer available, not even in anyone’s memory. However pessimistic the world seems (even the boy knows that), he literally ‘does NOT give a shit’, because he is in love with her. What a very courageous, and great, way of declaration.

Whatever we have in life just happens on Earth, on the mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam (Carl Sagan). Do we live in a world in which we can touch? Or do we live in a world in which we create our own mind? No one can ever answer that. Life is too short for anyone to find out the answer. All we can do is to do our best, to leave nothing unsaid, undone, while we can. Don’t be afraid to fail, because no one can even remember what you have done forever.

The Real Artist

Yesterday, a friend of mine and I were talking about music. Speaking about music, we discussed about how music (trend of music) changes from time to time.

The change of music nowadays is likely to be caused by the change of tastes of audiences. Pop music is the kind of music that the producers try to ‘sell’ to the audience to make profits, and that’s what I call ‘commercial music’. From the pop songs in different periods of time, we can more or less get the taste of the audience at that time. In my opinion, there are 2 types of music producers: One takes music production as a pure product or as a money-making tool; while the second one is more artistic, that the music producers bring their own music to the audiences, regardless of what the majority of people may like. I think the term of ‘artist’ should only refer to the second type of music producers, as the first type is more of business people. Well, there are some singers who begin as true artists, but then change to the money-making ‘artists’, as the fame they get drives them to be greedy for money, as they know they can be really rich.

The first example I can come up with, is Taylor Swift. First of all, it’s just my opinion, you can always disagree with me. I think the old Taylor Swift is quite a real artist that she creates her own songs, in which the lyrics seem to be pretty real, as in songs like ‘Mean’ and ‘Love Story’. Art and literature come from human life, so I would really think that her work was really great at that time. However, her album ‘1989’ changed my thoughts about her. I think the songs in ‘1989’ lack the qualities of her previous work, as they seemed to me that they were produced purely to suit the taste of nowadays audiences. As I read the comment ‘I miss the Old Taylor Swift’ on Youtube, I could not agree more, although I can’t deny her success as she’s one of the highest paid singers in the world.

The second example I could think of is Zara Larsson. You may not have heard of her, but she was the winner of Sweden’s Got Talent in 2008. She is not a song writer, but she is a good singer. I thought (when I saw her performance in Sweden’s Got Talent) that she could be another Mariah Carey, I mean, really that good. However, She changed her way of singing to some pop singers. I’m not saying I don’t like pop music, but I think artists should keep going on what they are good at, and not blindly following what the trend is going.

There are, nonetheless, some singers who I admire because they really perform themselves in front of the public.

The first one is Lily Allen. When the first time I heard her song ‘Fuck You’, I thought this lady was either a crazy one, or a very honest one. The more I knew about her and the more of her songs I heard, I started to like her more. Most of her songs are so realistic, and if you look at her personal life as well, you’ll even see the connection between her life and her songs. This is what I like from a singer/ artist, writing songs with her heart. This, I think, is the best way, to produce the best, the most touching, the most meaningful music of the human kind.

Jackie Evancho is, on the other hand, a singer but not a song writer, whom I admire. It is so obvious that, singing opera is her field. I would dare to say that she is a bright star in the opera career if she keeps doing what she’s good at, and not being affected by what most people like. Opera seems to be less popular nowadays than it was before, so it would be hard for her not to be tempted to sing other kind of songs. May be it would work, no one knows, but I think if she’s good at doing opera, why give it up?

Well, the above is just my opinion, you can always disagree.

While the UK government put the blame on EU immigrants, my beloved Home Secretary May discouraged non-EU citizens who wish to study in UK again. Under the new rule, non-EU students are NOT allowed to work DURING and AFTER their study in UK. In other words, the right to work up to 20 hours a week during study has been scrapped, as well as the right to switch from study visa to work visa. Fair game, fair play, non-EU students are treated like criminals here, as they basically have no rights. They pay a huge amount of money to come to study, and to be ‘punished’ by the government, the whole thing makes a whole lot of sense! Such a shame I didn’t know any politics before coming to study in UK, but if I did, I probably wouldn’t have come to UK, but somewhere else, like Germany and Sweden, where they would at least treat you like a normal citizen, at least they would treasure you.

Their argument is that the reason you come to UK, is to study, purely study. I can’t argue against that, but for the majority of people, you study so you can get a good job to secure a better life. Study, and work, are probably inseparable in one’s life. It’s like breathing, studying is inhaling (you suck in the knowledge into your brain); working is like exhaling (you use your knowledge to serve the country). So, for non-EU students studying in UK, you are ONLY allowed to inhale, but not exhale. Also, banning non-EU students from working part-time during term time, yea, it’s alright, but sometimes there are students who need to work to make end meets, so the rule is probably discriminating non-EU students who are NOT exceptionally rich. Well, but I expected this because it’s the posh party ruling.

Okay, EVEN if their point of view of ‘students should only study and not work’ is correct, why don’t you ban all students from working, but only non-EU ones? Yes, you probably need to give benefits to EU citizens to retain your EU membership, but one cannot choose to be born in EU or not, isn’t it a little bit unfair to some people (Although probably you think it’s only minority and doesn’t matter because we are not white)?

Well, even from the country’s point of view, it’s not a sensible act. You scare people so fewer international students will come to study in UK. Tuition fees from international students are usually the main source that can fund a university. So, under the new rule, we can expect to see some universities being clamped down. Moreover, you train people, and ‘encourage’ people to spend their workforce and intelligence in the other countries, well, thank you May, this is probably the rule that allows me to see my future path again. Your new rule gave me an opportunity to focus on the whole Europe rather than only UK, and this may actually lead to a better future.

‘Study in UK and have a better future’, is your slogan, right? For what you do, it should be ‘Study in UK, work somewhere, and have a better future’. For me, ‘Study in UK, finish, then leave.’ is what my impression. So the current slogan is full of bullcrap.

Well, from what I hear in Scotland, I heard many voices against the new rule. Scotland’s voices should be heard! But I know Tory will always ignore it anyway.

Well, to be a bit extreme, I’d rather be deported under UKIP than Tory. At least UKIP treats EU and non-EU people more fairly, while Tory is probably a bunch of _______ (fill your own gap).