Tag Archive: university


So this year on the Valentine’s Day, my girlfriend and I planned to go out for dinner. When she finished her uni classes, she came to mine to pick me up. Suddenly, she said she needed a poop. She went to the toilet for a long long time, then I asked what’s wrong. Holy moly, she blocked the toilet with her sXXX. I then went to fix it.

She kept saying sorry, and I couldn’t stop laughing because it’s the first time I see this kind of events. It was going well, until I said ‘So this proves you are not perfect.’ as a joke. She asked why, I replied ‘BECAUSE GODDESSES NEVER POOP, AND BLOCK THE TOILET WITH THEIR SHIT, BECAUSE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PERFECT! HAHAHA!’ as a way to tease.

She got angry as an angry bird, from the time we went out, she never spoke a word. I was like playing a single game, it’s not multiplayer anymore. I finally couldn’t hold it, and asked ‘Hey, I am sorry, it was just a joke. What do I have to do to have you talking to me again?’

She pointed to a Pikachu doll in the toy shop, and said ‘Okay, so you have to pretend you are a Pikachu for the rest of the day, then we have words.’

Be a pikachu? LOL that’s a terrible request. But well, as a hopelessly romance cheeseball, I would take it.

‘Pika Pika! (Okay Okay)’ I said. From this moment, I told myself, that I am a Pikachu.

We walked, and walked. She suddenly asked ‘Yep, so where should we go for dinner tonight?’ I answered ‘Pikachu? Pika Pika Pi! (I was actually thinking The Bobbin, but I was just expecting that she would ask me to resign from my post as a ‘Pikachu’ as she does not understand what I said. However, she replied ‘Okay, Bobbin sounds good!’

Oh My Lord! She knew what I said? Did she just guess it randomly? I decided to try her with a few words.

‘Pika Pi! (Motherfker!)’, I said. She was shocked, and asked ‘Why do you swear? Swearing to me?’

Oh my lord in a box! She knew what I said! I immediately replied ‘Pika Pika Pi! (No, no no!) in a shaky voice.

So we went to Bobbin. Because it was the Valentine’s Day, it was quite full. I was even more nervous. If I kept being a ‘Pikachu’, people would notice and laugh at me. If I didn’t, a break-up is on its way.

We went to the bar to order food. It was my turn after my girlfriend ordered. I was thinking what do to. Suddenly, I had an idea, and said ‘Pi, Pi!’ to the bar-man. He looked confused, but then asked me whether I meant ‘beef, beer’. I nodded my head. Yep, done!

As we ate, I talked to my girlfriend as if I was a Pikachu. As we were about to leave, I looked at the people around us, maybe they actually thought that my girlfriend was having a dinner with a Pikachu.

We decided to go for a walk after the meal. As I walked, I felt like I had no dignity at all, and became the shame of mankind. But I looked at the girl next to me, apart from being silly making me doing some idiotic things, she is actually quite nice. (Sigh), this time she asked me to be a Pikachu, last time she asked me to be Donald Duck, what about next time…..?

She suddenly stopped walking, and whispered to me, saying ‘Thank you for being with me all the time. I hope you can be my Pokemon, forever, and ever!’

I felt so touched after this. And replied ‘Pika Pi (Thank you)’ and tears started running in my eyes.

Oh wait, tears seemed to come too quickly, that everything became blurred. I couldn’t see anything!

‘Pi! Pika? Pikachu?’ (Hey! Why? Where are you?)

‘Pikachu???’ (Where are you???)

.
.
.
.

I woke up, staring at the ceiling, finding I got tears in my eyes.

I looked at the calendar, 14/02/2016 it is.

Just when I thought i found the love of my life, it was actually a dream.
I went to the window, looking at the snow outside, thinking back to the dream,
I inhaled as much as I could, then shouted to the window
‘Pi..ka..chu! (FML)’

(The End)

Happy Valentine’s Day guys, or Independence Day to the Single Ones.

 

 

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Listen Children to a story that did happen long ago
In a kingdom within city and the uni-lad below

So I knew her in my second year of uni. After knowing her, I immediately applied to join her ‘army’ team, being the soldier around her. I went so far to an extent that, I went to McDonald’s to work because I knew she worked there. Despite the fact that we worked different shifts (She usually finished at 8am, while I started at 9am), I would literally go to work a couple hours early, just to see her. My manager sometimes said ‘Well, you do not get paid for starting early.’ I would just say ‘Well, I do not really care.’

She studied at university as well, and we were in the same course, and the same tutorial. Sometimes we studied till late, and she would come to my place for food before she went home. My fridge ended up being empty all the time but I wouldn’t really care.

This went on till almost Christmas time. One day, she said to me ‘Ahh I am spending my Christmas alone again this year…’ Maybe I thought about it too much, but I genuinely took it as an implication. Also, I thought ‘Well, it is time for me to resign from the army, and see if I can get further with her.’ So, i asked her to go to the beach on the silent night, and she said ‘Yes.’

At the beach, we lied down and were staring at the stars. At some point, I asked ‘Do you want to be my girlfriend?’, just that, just straight. She smiled, with ‘ha ha’, without saying anything. Well, what does it mean then? But I thought, if I asked further, it might ruined it. So I was like 50-50 about it, not sure about what she thought.

Then, on the 25th, we hanged out then went for a dinner at hers. I asked her again the same question. Her reply was the same, and somehow we just ate and finished the dinner cheerily. I didn’t ask further, I thought she wasn’t sure about it. THEN what?

She went home on the 31st December and said she would spend the new year with her family. Fair enough! But then what? On the new year day, she posted a picture of her and a guy holding hands, with loads of hearts in it. Well, fair enough, I asked her why she did not reject me right away? She said ‘If I rejected you, then you probably would not spend those time with me then.’ Oh… lol…. Well done, playaaa!

Well, once a soldier, always a soldier, she has always been a player and everytime she breaks up, I help her through, while HOPING (realising I cannot) I have a chance. I know I don’t but well, it’s hard anyway. So, once you’ve joined the Goddess’ Army, it’s hard for you to get out.

So what’s next year? I might have more hope on MU winning the Premier League than myself finding a partner.

What’s your view then?

 

Hash Browns

Haven’t updated my blog for a while due to tremendous amount of uni work! So, I am just going to do a casual writing this time to kinda release stress from the essays. It was Black Friday and i wish i could sell my stress. I will make a ‘recipe for a dish of stress’ next time!

Every time, when I finish a couple of hash browns, I ignore most girls in class who ask me out for a meal, as I realize that, they don’t understand me anymore.

I ask them ‘what do you want to eat?’.
‘I am on a diet, so… salad? with some starch so… potato salad?’ they usually say.
Potato Salad? Because you think it is healthy and keeps you fit?
Ha, NAIVE! Can I still bear to see my friends putting cold food into their mouths?
EVERY single piece in hash brown experiences high-temperature frying, like a long journey of training. Every piece, has its history, and its story. What has potato salad got? Just like the childish, naive people, knowing nothing because they have never experienced what life is!

Sometimes, when I am alone in the restaurant, I feel lonely, I feel that there is no one in the world who understands me.

I order a pint of Stella Artois. Staring at the yellowish beer in the glass, I can’t see through, I can’t see clearly about how much I still understand about the world. I am confused.

I am leaving the restaurant. When I pay, I see a young lady eating Hash Browns. I stare at her, she stares back at me, we nod to each other. I am so touched: In the world, there are people who have the same opinion with me, admiring the tough life that every piece of hash brown has to undergo! I hold my tears, and leave the restaurant, and walk home without taking a glance back at the restaurant again.

Maybe that lady would ask: Why do you give up such a probable friendship?
I don’t know, at that moment, I feel like a loafer.

So there has been a ‘Blind-date with a book’ event in university since the start of this week. I, as an English student, have always loved to read books apart from the ones in the course because reading them is as boring as watching the grass grows inch by inch. Also, I was attracted by the word ‘Blind-Date’ as it sounds like there are good books there, and it is only £2 for a book. So I thought, ‘Why not? Maybe the worst book I could get is a 50 shades of Bloody Grey.’

Having the preparation of getting myself into the book with terrible lines (like ‘His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel… or something’, ‘I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of the communist manifesto.’, and ‘Holy Crap! He’s wearing a white shirt!’), I went into the book store, and looking for my book, my soulmate, the ONE book I can date. I am usually not lucky in lottery and things, so I doubt I would really get a book I really like, but a book that allows me to escape from the torture of the English Literature Essay Writing would do the job, as a One Night Stand with a book.

The ‘Blind-Date’ books were covered in cardboard covers with descriptions of genres and a quote written on it. There were like 5, with 3 being poetry, which had been eliminated because I’ve had enough of poetry lately. The other one is mystery. Well, not too much of a fan of mystery as I have the memory of a gold fish and I will definitely forget some details in the book before I try to solve the mystery as Detective Chan. The last one…. the genre says ‘Theatre’. I remember some people say the word ‘theatre’ when they actually mean ‘cinema’, so I thought ‘Oh dear, it must be made into a film, so it must be quite good.’ I never have an expectation of it being like my favourite Nicholas Sparks’ books, but at least it’s a film. The worst case is that it would have the title of some…numbers like 50, and something grey? I did not look at the quote as I could not read that hand-writing and I thought it would not matter much. So, I bravely picked it up, and took it to the check-out and purchased it.

Then, I took it home, and slowly unwrapped my ‘date’. ‘Well even if it is 50 Shades of Grey, it’s fine, at least it would allow me to escape from the literature course.’ …. I tore the cardboard slowly from the middle, and I saw a logo, which literally made me mourn for the £2 I paid for that. The logo, is a well-known one. Well played, Penguin. I looked at the title, it says ‘Hedda Glaber and other Plays’ by Henrik Ibsen. Oh My God, this is worse than getting the grey book. It’s like going to a blind-date, and you think you picked up a fit bird, but it turns out that it is literally a bird. I never thought they would put those kinds of literature in the event, it’s like hiding a landmine under a rocky road where no one could see. Well played, well played.

While the UK government put the blame on EU immigrants, my beloved Home Secretary May discouraged non-EU citizens who wish to study in UK again. Under the new rule, non-EU students are NOT allowed to work DURING and AFTER their study in UK. In other words, the right to work up to 20 hours a week during study has been scrapped, as well as the right to switch from study visa to work visa. Fair game, fair play, non-EU students are treated like criminals here, as they basically have no rights. They pay a huge amount of money to come to study, and to be ‘punished’ by the government, the whole thing makes a whole lot of sense! Such a shame I didn’t know any politics before coming to study in UK, but if I did, I probably wouldn’t have come to UK, but somewhere else, like Germany and Sweden, where they would at least treat you like a normal citizen, at least they would treasure you.

Their argument is that the reason you come to UK, is to study, purely study. I can’t argue against that, but for the majority of people, you study so you can get a good job to secure a better life. Study, and work, are probably inseparable in one’s life. It’s like breathing, studying is inhaling (you suck in the knowledge into your brain); working is like exhaling (you use your knowledge to serve the country). So, for non-EU students studying in UK, you are ONLY allowed to inhale, but not exhale. Also, banning non-EU students from working part-time during term time, yea, it’s alright, but sometimes there are students who need to work to make end meets, so the rule is probably discriminating non-EU students who are NOT exceptionally rich. Well, but I expected this because it’s the posh party ruling.

Okay, EVEN if their point of view of ‘students should only study and not work’ is correct, why don’t you ban all students from working, but only non-EU ones? Yes, you probably need to give benefits to EU citizens to retain your EU membership, but one cannot choose to be born in EU or not, isn’t it a little bit unfair to some people (Although probably you think it’s only minority and doesn’t matter because we are not white)?

Well, even from the country’s point of view, it’s not a sensible act. You scare people so fewer international students will come to study in UK. Tuition fees from international students are usually the main source that can fund a university. So, under the new rule, we can expect to see some universities being clamped down. Moreover, you train people, and ‘encourage’ people to spend their workforce and intelligence in the other countries, well, thank you May, this is probably the rule that allows me to see my future path again. Your new rule gave me an opportunity to focus on the whole Europe rather than only UK, and this may actually lead to a better future.

‘Study in UK and have a better future’, is your slogan, right? For what you do, it should be ‘Study in UK, work somewhere, and have a better future’. For me, ‘Study in UK, finish, then leave.’ is what my impression. So the current slogan is full of bullcrap.

Well, from what I hear in Scotland, I heard many voices against the new rule. Scotland’s voices should be heard! But I know Tory will always ignore it anyway.

Well, to be a bit extreme, I’d rather be deported under UKIP than Tory. At least UKIP treats EU and non-EU people more fairly, while Tory is probably a bunch of _______ (fill your own gap).

Having been in UK, I concerned too much about immigrating here. I know clearly that, I don’t wanna go back to Hong Kong for work. But what I did miss, was that, there were more European countries that are available to me, that I probably love, that are probably better than UK for me. To be honest, I do like Scotland.

UK immigration is being more and more difficult. It was quite a worry to me, leading me to (maybe) think about doing courses that I totally don’t suit (Yes I thought about doing something related to oil in postgraduate so I can almost guarantee a job that will give me a working visa to stay). All my plan is to study and work, so I can legally stay here for 10 years, then apply for Indefinite Leave Remain, and then a citizenship.

My plan will probably still work, as the new rule of working visa doesn’t affect me, although I think it is entirely a BULLCRAP. So the new rule is, if you want to apply for settlement in UK through working visa, you have to earn £35,000 when you apply for it. While UK ‘seems’ to be blaming for EU immigrants, it is continuing to build the barriers for Non-EU people who want to settle down in UK. This allows me to see what the government really is. There are many people who stay here with working visa will be forced to leave the country if they don’t earn that much. Some of those people are married. To them, it will be a painful divorce. Is that what you want, No. 10? A trial separation, or painful divorce? I know you don’t want unskilled workers to come to the country, but isn’t £35,000 a bit too high? The average salary in UK is way lower than that. Oh yea, also, Non-EU immigrants account for all the immigrants in the country. It makes sense. And yea, you train people and kick them away, as if you cooked a meal, and you throw the food away, make sense.

If I have one piece of advice for people who want to study in UK, that will be “Don’t, if you are not the next Einstein.” You come here to study, you pay a huge tuition fee, and you will NOT be welcome to stay in the country after you graduate if your IQ doesn’t score 200. Well, I’d say Scotland’s approach to students has been nice and friendly, so I quite like Scotland. It’s just that the people in power…. that grosses me out.

Perhaps, studying in UK is a mistake, but I wouldn’t have known that. I’d rather have gone to other European countries for university, even though language could be a communication barrier. But at least, I will feel welcome there. Now, even if I qualify to settle down here, I’m not sure if I will. Thanks for the people in power for encouraging me to learn a new language, and to know what I really want to do. Cheers mates!

Many people have a false belief that English students need to read a lot of books, at least they have to read the texts that they are preparing for exams and essays. Ha, N-A-I-V-E.

Being an English student at university, I don’t believe it is necessary for you to read the original texts for your essay. Think about it, how many times in real life, after you read a course text, you can actually tell more details about the text than Sparksnotes? Or even the greatest invention Wikipedia? It can happen but not really the usual case. Probably you can get a clearer view of what is happening in the text using Sparksnotes or Wikipedia. Basically you never need to know the text in very detail for your essay, well, who would expect you to? You are not the writer himself, are you?

So, how do you get away with it? You might or might not need the whole plot, but if you do, Wikipedia will do the job for you. Then, depends on what the essay question is about, find articles about it online. Worried that you rely purely on the critic and not your own reading? Is that your fear? No way, critics always see things more correctly than you, unless you think you can be a good critic yourself. Having this fear is like relying on your own Mathematics skills rather than using a calculator.

So, we got the synopsis, and the critical review. What is next? Plagiarism is a big fall. So you have to (skilfully) rephrase everything. Try to avoid using the same wordings, just go search for synonyms and you should be fine. And of course, you can really put the critical review in your bibliography, just be truthful at this stage as you read it. As for the Primary source, of course you have to lie, or else, all your efforts will be gone!

Well, that’s how you get away with your English essay without having to read the course text (well, you can always read it if you like though). Feeling guilty that it is not your creative idea? Well, good traditions are supposed to be kept. It works for English and I am guessing some other subjects too.

Having the ‘Friendzone Military rank’ in mind (which I will repost at the end of this entry), we know a friendzone occupation is like a real job, you can either get promoted or relegated. As in the real military rank, your ‘Goddess’ does not get many ‘General’s (Boyfriend), while she can probably be surrounded by a bunch of soldiers (most likely infantry and Arrow Army).

In order to get promotion, you can choose to do it actively by confessing yourself in different ways. This takes an awful lot of courage to do, but is very unlikely to succeed. Why? Because if you are the one she likes, you would have been automatically promoted before you even have to make a move. The other are unlikely to get even a date to try. But if you don’t confess, this will like a never-ending situation: you see your Goddess making out of other people, and you get jealous….. never ever ending. And… ‘Jealousy, turning Saints into the Sea’ as the Killers sang in Mr. Brightside.

Therefore, you somehow need to apply for the occupation of a General, although it is more than likely to end in a rejection. What happens next in the event of a rejection? Back off! If you don’t want yourself to get stuck in the never-ever-ending friendzone and keep getting jealous from time to time, back off! Why? For certain, she will get a general one day, and you don’t really want to see this, unless you can wholly give it up. And you know, one day, the General will evolve into the King (the husband), and your Goddess will be the Queen (the wife), and they will have a happy life somewhere with some princes and princesses. They will really ‘Rule the World’, oh, no, not the world, but your world. Well isn’t that what you ‘want’ though? Getting her happy by serving her whenever she needs?

Whether you should jump off the boat and quit the friendzone, and end the friendship (not really preferable though), depends on the situation. Well, it can be a hard decision to decide. A friendship can be a base of a relationship and it gives you hope sometimes. If you don’t resign from your post though, jealousy will likely to come to the way at certain point of your life.

Well it is nothing wrong to hand in your ‘application form’ to be a General, as after that, you can know what to do next depending on the situation. But just like applying for university, always know when to apply, what is the entry requirement, and prepare for the ‘interview’ (if you are lucky enough to get a date). Don’t be shy, go and try. Good luck to everyone willing to be the General of the Apple of your eyes!

Friendzone Rank:

1: Infantry–> only serves the ‘Goddess’, but cannot do anything to her.
2: Navy –> richer than ‘Infantry’, using money and gifts to maintain relationship with the ‘Goddess’.

3: Horse soldier –> Can have the qualities of ‘infantry’ or ‘navy’, or both, but gets to be the ‘friend with benefits’ with the ‘Goddess’. Is also the highest rank of soldiers.
4: Arrow army –> Long distance relationship with the ‘Goddess’, using text/ Skype/ Facebook to contact, possibly haven’t even seen the ‘Goddess’ in real life.
5: Wizards (Evil): Getting alcohol or drugs to get benefits from the ‘Goddess’

The Royal Family:
1. King –> Husband of your ‘Goddess’
2. Queen –> Your ‘Goddess’ after Marriage
3. General –> Boyfriend of your Goddess
4. Prince/ Princess –> Children of your Goddess

Dream and Reality

Dream and Reality

Time flies, now my second year in uni is almost done.
Some of my friends already think about their future career.
I do as well, and I did a lot of research about what I will be able to do in the future, and it should be what people at my age do.

Well, having come to do world for about 20 years, have I done anything that I really enjoy doing?
I still remember the first day when I went to the kindergarten, I cried a lot. As I knew, school is a terrible place, and from that day onward, I needed to begin my more-than-10-year study.
When I was in primary school (a bit older), I always wanted the time in school to ‘fly’. Why? Because I wanted to go back home straight away to play games.
In Secondary school, I always questioned ‘Why do I have to study many subjects when a teacher cannot possibly teach all of them on his own? Why do I need to study Mathematics? When would I apply the Math I learn to life?’ And why did we need to take many exams? Would anyone possibly say ‘I like taking exams!’? Those could hardly be what a person likes to do in my opinion.

Well, what about those fresh graduates from universities?
Most of them, just want to find a normal officer job, with steady salary, working 9-5 everyday. But is it actually what they want? I believe, everyone had some kind of dreams when they were young. I still remember when I was young, I told my teacher ‘I would like to be a famous writer, I will have my own fiction, and I will live in a castle!’ I believe most people would have a certain period of ‘innocence’, having a dream about what they wanna do when they grow up. Who would say that their dream is to be a normal officer with a normal steady pay?

Since when, a person starts to leave their innocence stage, not thinking about what he actually wants? When everyone becomes that realistic, then what’s the point of life? Life would be so boring without dream. I know, some people may say ‘You cannot take your dream as your food, dream does not give you anything!’ I don’t know how to answer that, but that’s just my opinion, what would you prefer?

Table-Tennis Match Report

‘I knew you were trouble when you walked in’
AU Harriers (Members of AU Falcons) 3-7 Collie Gashers

Originally, AU Harriers should have Sir Magician Joe Cranna, Fighter Pete Crichton, and Prince Matt Robinson for the match. But the Prince stepped in for the cup match, so Admiral Hayes Chan stepped in for the match as the third player. These three lads were also registered players for the Falcons team, so it was basically a Division 3 team clashing a Division 1 team.

First round: 1-2
Admiral Chan got Paul Barlow for the first match. ‘I knew you were trouble when you walked in.’ he thought as he played Paul before and got beaten 0-3. He started alright, as he took the first set 12-10. But then, Paul got advice from his teammate, and won 3 close sets straight. ‘It was a tough match.’ Hayes said after the match. Sir Magician Joe won the first game against Derek 3-1 comfortably too, and continued his winning record. Fighter Pete, on the other hand, faced the challenge from Derek, who got tricky serves, and Pete got beaten 0-3.

Second round: 1-5
Admiral Chan got Derek for the second game. Because of Derek’s tricky serves, the Admiral lost 13-15, 5-11 and 6-11. The key player Sir Magician Joe had a very hard time in the second round. He was playing Paul Barlow, he got 2-0 up in sets, Paul then made a comeback with 2 sets. A five setter was on! ‘Come on Joe!’ Hayes was cheering up for him. However, it didn’t help, he lost the final set, and he lost the first league game in the whole season. Magician was very sad, but we should all cheer up for him! He did a very good job in the whole season! The Fighter Pete got Dave, and he was unlucky as he lost by close sets.

Third round: 2-7
‘It is hard to see our honoured Magician having a hard time, I am going to take revenge on the team!’ Admiral got determined and glowed the fire in his heart again! He had Dave in his final single game of the day. He won the first two sets, and in the third set, Dave was 10-7 up. ‘I am NOT losing this! Joe is having a hard time, I must win the game!’ Hayes thought. He MADE IT by winning the final set 12-10! Sir Magician did not manage to calm himself down in the third round, he did not even play half as good as he could be, so he lost the game too. Pete got the strongest player of the opponent team, Paul. He got beaten too.

After the Double Match: 3-7
The Harriers got the Admiral and Magician for the double, playing against Dave and Paul. ‘We are continuing our winning record, Joe!’ Hayes said to Joe. These two Falconers did very well, and won 3-0 straight, and Hayes closed the game with a ‘CHO!’

Although they lost, they did well, remember they were not even supposed to be in Division 2! Even the Dark Knight Gavin Elliot said ‘These three lads did so well today!’ As we know now, Joe and Hayes will be playing in North of Scotland Open, hopefully they will have good results in it! ‘Fail to prepare, prepare to fail, by Colin Dalgleish. So I am having a 3-hour training with Murray Paterson tomorrow!’ The Admiral got the fire in his heart for the tournament again! Hopefully he would do well in it